We found ourselves on a WhatsApp group. The day I was introduced on the platform, he came into my inbox to ask questions. He asked why I wanted to join the group and where I’d come from. At some point, I thought he was the admin. It was later that I found out that he wasn’t. Anytime there was a discussion on the page, he’ll notify me and ask, “Why aren’t you talking? We need your contribution.” Then I’ll hop on the page and contribute my quota.

One day he came into my inbox to ask why I hadn’t been on the page for that long. I said, “My phone had developed a fault. Some portion of the keyboard doesn’t work unless I press it a million times before the letter will appear. It makes chatting very difficult.” He asked, “Can’t you do anything about it?” I said, “I learned they can repair but I haven’t had the time to go and check on it.”

I don’t know what made him think it was money I needed. He said, “If you can take it for repairs then I will pay for the charges.” I told him, “I close from work very late that’s why I’m unable to visit the repairer. Maybe one of these weekends, I will block some time and go.” He kept calling me and asking me about the phone until one day I went to see the repairer and got it repaired. He later sent me some money to cover the charges. He said, “I promised to cover the charges so I have to deliver on my promises.”

I said my thanks and showed my appreciation. He started saying good morning to me each morning and when the night came, he came to say good night too. One day he said, “We’ve been talking but haven’t seen each other physically before. Why don’t we meet one of these days?” I said, “I’m mostly free on weekends. If you fix a date on a weekend, I could meet you.”

So one weekend we met at the center of town where we could get something to eat and drink. From all indications, that outing went very well. We laughed a lot and got connected as though we’ve known each other for a very long time. The next time we met, It was a group outing. Since he was the only person I’d met physically from the group, I clung to him and went everywhere with him. I remember, the night after that group outing, he sent me a message, shooting his shot. I said, “I saw this coming.” He responded, “I knew I loved you from the very first day we met.”

I was concerned about what people will say in the group but he said, “They won’t know if you don’t want them to know.” I mean he’s a cool guy and all. He was thoughtful and acted with the right intentions all the time. I said, “No problem. We can give it a try. Who knows what may come out of it.” He said, “We are not trying. We are either giving it our all or nothing else.” I said, “Let’s do it.”

So, we started. It was hot at first, then it went cold at some point. Then we picked it up with all the speed we could muster until at some point I said, “Let’s slow down. It seems we are moving too fast.” Anytime a woman tells a man that the relationship is moving too fast, then you know what the man is asking from her. I wasn’t ready to get intimate with him though every fiber in me wanted it. He said, “What’s too fast about this? We’ve been in this relationship for about three weeks now. I think you should know me enough by now.” I said, “It’s not about knowing you. It’s about exercising patient. I’m not going anywhere and you’re also not going anywhere so why the rush?”

Two months later, I was in his room when he attempted it again. He said, “It’s been months already. There’s no point keeping me waiting.” I asked him, “What do you want? I mean what do you want from this relationship?” He said, “I enjoy your presence but anytime you’re around, I can’t keep calm. I just want you.” I said, “I enjoy your presence too but I believe we should take it slowly. It helps the foundation of what we are building.”

I was always telling him to take his time but honestly, I didn’t know what I was waiting for or what I was waiting to see before I give him a chance. We had a kiss days after I said yes to him. It was good but I had to stop him before it got ugly. It was from that moment that he tried to get his way with me. He said I was ‘tempting to touch’ so I tried to stay away from situations where he would have the chance to get touchy. For a very long time, I didn’t visit his house until his birthday when I was sending his present to him. When I got there, he hugged me and didn’t want to let go. He said he had missed me. I said I’d missed him too. And then he started pushing his way. I thought, “It’s his birthday, let me give it as part of the birthday gift to him.”

Just when he was about to start making moves, I changed my mind. I don’t know but something pricked my conscience and said, “This is not the right time,” so I jumped up and walked away from him.” He screamed, “What?” I said, “Nothing.” He said, “I thought…” I said, “Yeah I’m sorry but this is not a good time. My mood is all over the place. Can we do it when my mood is right?” He started talking plenty, calling me selfish and inconsiderate about his feelings. “It’s always about your feelings and what you want. What about me?” He said. I responded, “I’m sorry. I will make it up to you.”

We survived a year together. He called me a witch who took pleasure in tormenting his feelings. I asked him, “Or you just want to have fun and later run away?” He said, “If that’s the idea, this relationship wouldn’t have survived a week. After all, there are so many women out there I can get that from.” Then he asked, “What is it about intimacy that scares you? You told me you’ve done it before so what is it about it that scares you?” I said, “I’m not scared. And honestly, I don’t know why I keep running from it. A year together is enough to make me comfortable but my mind is never at ease.” “Or there’s something you’re hiding from me? He asked. I said, “I’ve been naked in front of you on several occasions. Did you see anything I should hide from you?” He said, “So you’re happy telling me that you’ve been naked in front of me before? Anyway, I’m not going to ask you again. ‘Eat’ yourself and enjoy it. Witch.” I asked, “Are you leaving me?” He said, “It’s over. Don’t come after me again.” And then he chuckled.

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We survived two years together. And then we went through a third year with a breeze. We were in our fought year when he said we should get married. I joked, “Now you want to use marriage to ‘chop’ me, right? He said, “On our honeymoon, you’ll run away. You’ll pick your dross and run through the dark to your parents. All the wait and all the punishment you’ve given me, you’ll pay for it that day.” I said, “Don’t let me shock you because that night, I know you’ll cry like a baby.”

We got married on is his thirty-first birthday. We had a simple wedding during the peak of the Covid. Those around were not even up to fifty people but all the people in our WhatsApp group attended the wedding. My happiness that day could not be hidden from my smiles. Anytime we held hands, he’ll scratch my palm to get my mind on what was going to happen to me that night.

Wedding over. We got to the hotel and he went straight to the bath to take his shower. When he came back he said, “Now it’s your turn, go freshen up and come. If you don’t die today, call me Adwoa.” I entered the bath and by the time I returned, he was in bed snoring. I pulled the sheet over him and laid peacefully by his side. It was around 7:15am when I tapped him to wake up. When he opened his eyes I said, “Good morning Adwoa. Time to go to church.” He got up, looked around, and asked, “What did you do to me? You put something in the food we ate yesterday?”

Today, that history is behind us. When the time was right and he got his chance, he proved his manhood. That’s the reason we had a set of twins in May. We are good. We are enjoying our marriage and looking forward to what may come in the future but That name hasn’t changed. Every now and then, I call him Adwoa.

–Helen    

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