She’s someone I used to know when I was in Ghana. Oforiwaa. She was a friend to a friend of the lady I was dating. I met her twice in those days when I was in Ghana. I met her at the birthday drink-up of a friend of my girlfriend. We shared the same table but didn’t say much. The next time I met her was at the wedding of a friend of my girlfriend. She walked to our table, greeted and said, “Here we are again.” I looked up and smiled. My girlfriend responded, “We only meet when Akos has something to do.” Again, we shared a table and had mad fun. She’s one of the girls who meet you today and talk to you like someone she had known for ages. At the wedding reception, we talked a lot, gossiped about people and had so much to drink.
Just when I was about to travel abroad, the relationship between me and my girlfriend broke down. We tried to make things work. We covered the relationship in band-aids just to make it heal but it kept breaking down at every bend. We were always mending something so a week before the travel, she told me we better break up. She said, “I don’t think it’s going to work. Living with you and seeing you every day didn’t heal what we have. I don’t think living apart will do better. I know you’ll find someone there and waste my time here. It’s better we let go so we can live our lives in freedom.”
I knew what she was talking about. She caught me cheating once and she forgave me. The shadow of that cheating was still haunting her though she said she had forgiven me. Anytime we had issues, she brought that episode of cheating up. That day when she was saying her goodbye, I knew what was pushing her. I could read the lines and see the gestures on her face. She didn’t say it but she was thinking I was going to cheat so she broke up with me. A week or so later, I traveled. True to her words, I met a lot of women where I was, dated a few of them, and broke up with them later. I wasn’t the one doing the breaking up. They were the ones breaking up with me.
There is something about the dating scene in the US I couldn’t understand. All the women I met behaved like they were emotionally absent. Today, they are all over you, tomorrow they would be missing your calls. You can’t even get angry at them because when you do, they’ll call you quick-tempered and use that as a reason to walk away. I met Ellis, a black American lady who told me she traced her ancestry to Ghana. She was all over me when she got to know I was a Ghanaian. So at some point, I proposed and she said yes. We were even making plans to come to Ghana. She called it a pilgrimage to Ghana because she was coming to have a conversation with her ancestors.
That relationship lasted for only four months. There was this guy who always came between us. I suspected there was something going on between them. She denied it but she was going to parties and doing sleep-overs at this guy’s place. So one day I snapped and a spoke a little louder than my usual voice. She said, “Why are you raising your voice at me?” I lowered my voice and said, “Please, cut ties with that guy. He’s making me uncomfortable.” Our relationship didn’t survive because I raised my voice at her that day. Eiii, is that what you do here? Your men don’t get angry and raise their voices small? I’m from Ghana. We get angry and raise our voices when things go wrong but we still continue the relationship.
For four years I couldn’t keep a relationship. Even the women from Ghana were walking out of relationships with me because of small issues we play with in relationships in Ghana. For four years, I don’t remember dating a woman for a year. It was hard for me so I made it a point to come back to Ghana to look for a wife. “The women there would understand. I grew up with them so we can understand the dating language.”
I came to Ghana last year and bumped into Oforiwaa at the mall. She was walking with a guy but she took her time and spoke with me for a while. She asked where I’d been and I told her. She asked about my girlfriend and I told her we broke up. “We broke up even before I traveled. She’s married as we speak.” she did her awwws and we exchanged contacts. I didn’t think we were going to talk soon but that same evening, she gave me a call. She said, “It was good meeting you again after what looks like forever. I hope we meet again very soon.” I responded, “We can arrange. Let me know when you are free and I would meet you.”
Two days later, we met again in a restaurant at the corner of the mall. She asked about my plans and I told her; “I’m here to survey the environment. If I get good offers, I wouldn’t mind staying here to work. If I don’t, then I would go back and continue living my life there.” She responded, “Then you’ll go back. You’ll go back because there’s nothing here for you. Those of us here are even looking for opportunities to leave so why would you think of coming back here?” We had a very long night but no matter how long we stayed, we still wanted more of each other. The only thing that disturbed our night was her phone. Her phone never stopped ringing. She kept ignoring the calls and later put her phone on silent.
The next meeting was at my house. She started coming around often. I started developing something for her until one day I proposed and she said yes.
Her phone never stopped ringing when she was with me. Sometimes she’ll pick up the phone and speak to the person in undertone. Other times too she’ll ignore the calls totally. One day she took the call and went outside with it. It was around 10pm. When she came back, her demeanor had changed. It was like she has had a fight with someone over the phone. I didn’t ask questions. I was only monitoring her movement to see what I could find. One day she was in the kitchen cooking when her phone rang. I looked at the one calling. The name was Jeff. She rushed from the kitchen and picked up the phone. She was looking at me while talking to the person.
Another night, her phone’s screen lit up. It was Jeff calling. Anytime I saw a call on her phone, it was Jeff. I asked her. “Who is Jeff that can’t stop calling you?” She answered, “Hmmm, the truth of the matter is, he proposed to me long ago. I told him I was thinking about it. There’s nothing about him that I liked so I told him no. Since then he had been calling my phone every day trying to get me to say yes. He’s a divorcee with three children. Look at me. Is that what I deserve in a man? A man with three kids?” We laughed about it and moved on with our lives.
I’d come to love her the way she deserves to be loved. She didn’t do anything wrong. She had it all to be the woman of my dreams but Jeff won’t stop calling anytime she was with me. When I asked about it she told me, “Oh that guy? Don’t worry your head over him. I will block him soon to bring an end to this trouble he’s bringing into my love life.”
From there, it got quiet on her phone. I figured she had done what she said she would do. One day, her phone rang consistently for about five minutes. I checked the phone and the caller had no name. I took a picture of the number calling before screaming for her to come and pick up her phone. When she took her phone, she looked at me before entering the room to respond to the call. Later that day I called the number. He said, “My name is Jeff. You called me so why are you asking me who I am?” I said, “Jeff we need to talk about Oforiwaa.” He asked, “Who is this?” I mentioned my name.
I told him about me and Oforiwaa. He was quiet on the phone. He asked, “Oforiwaa?” I said, “Yeah. I want to get to the bottom of it that’s why I called.” He asked me, “Why should I believe you?” I said, “I can send you screenshots.” He went quiet again. For a while. He said, “I should have known it. So this is the reason for her sudden change? Why didn’t I see this all along?”
They had dated for three years and according to Jeff, they had started talking about marriage. Jeff wasn’t a divorcee as she made me believe. He said, “Me a divorcee? She’s rather a born one lady but unfortunately, the baby died a few days after birth. Heeerrh this girl!” I could feel the tension in his voice as we were talking. He asked me, “So what are we going to do?” I told him, “I’m happy to know the truth. Of course, I can’t continue with the relationship with her. We’ve done only six months. Yes, I loved her but six months isn’t too long to spoil anything. I will walk out.”
He wanted me to be there with him while he breaks up with her. He wanted us to shock her to her grave so he invited me home. “She’ll be here tomorrow morning. Come around and see her face while I break up with her.” I thought it wasn’t right. She had been a girl I loved. She lied but she deserves her respect so I didn’t go. The following day, she was with me when I said, “I spoke to Jeff. You two have been together for three years. Why did you lie to me? He isn’t a divorcee as you claimed. Why? Why would you do this to us? The shock and shame on her face said it all. She asked, “So what did you tell him? Have you told him about us?” I answered, “You’ll know when you meet him.”
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She left my place with tears in her eyes. Hours later, Jeff sent a Whatsapp message asking me if I had told her anything. I said, “I did my breakup with her not too long ago.” Jeff recorded her on a video and sent it to me. He said, “She’s lying about you. just listen to her.” I watched the video and all I could feel was sadness for her. She really loved Jeff but was trying her luck with me. She was on the floor crying and begging him not to leave her but she didn’t do that to me when I said it was over. She didn’t call me again and I didn’t contact Jeff again. A week before I left Ghana, Jeff called. He asked me, “Bro, we have to meet. I have to see you and thank you for what you’ve done for me. You saved me.”
I met him a day before leaving. Guess what, he was the guy who was with her the very first day I bumped into her at the mall. We shook hands. He bought me a meal. We drank champagne to console ourselves. He said, “So she was looking for borga and she didn’t tell me? I would have borgared for her!” We laughed and built a friendship that day. I’m not in Ghana but he calls every now and then. When he wants something from the US, he calls me and I get them and ship them to him. He wants to give his junior sister to me. He said, “Wait small. She’s in a relationship with one forking guy bi. That relationship will come to an end soon. Immediately it ends, I’ll tell you to take over. It’s all fun and laughter when we talk.
Today, I and Jeff are best of friends but the girl who brought us together is nowhere to be found.
–Reggy
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