We lived in the same area, me and Dorinda. We lived in a government bungalow in Swefi Wiawso. Our bungalow number was B4 and theirs was B11. Looking at the numbers, the two bungalows should have been far apart but somehow they were close, sitting next to each other. We were there long before Dorinda and her parents come to live there. They came to replace a man who retired not too long ago. I only saw her once and fell for her. She was very pretty and had everything I wanted in a woman. I was young and had issues with my confidence then so I couldn’t approach her. 

Not too long afterward, I saw that Joshua was getting closer to her. That guy didn’t live in the neighborhood but he came around very often to see friends. He was my friend too. Joshua saw Dorinda and went all out to have her. I died a little each day I saw them together. One afternoon, Joshua came around and told me; “You see that fine girl in B11? She’s my girlfriend now.” I asked, Dorinda?” He said, “Yeah, Dorinda.” I remember hearing the sound of my heartbreak when he said that to me. I wished it was not true but the way they both went around holding hands and laughing, I knew everything was true.

When remedial classes started, Dorinda was in my class. Surprisingly, she failed the same subjects I also failed in—English, Maths, and Science. In class, it became very easier for me to know and get closer to her. We went to class together and came back home together. When there was something she didn’t understand, she came to my house for tutorials. I watched her. I looked at her very well and saw how beautiful she was. I wanted to tell her how I felt but I couldn’t. Joshua continued coming around, taking her away and bringing her back at will. I stayed in the shadows, wishing she was mine while doing nothing to have her.

After remedial classes, I got an admission into the university and left Sefwi Wiawso. I later learned Dorinda also went to teacher training college. While in school, my parents got transferred to Obuasi and that was the end of me and Dorinda. I didn’t hear much from her and didn’t see her again until 2014.

I’d completed the university and had started working in Anglogold. One day I had a Facebook friend’s request from Dorinda. I quickly went through her photos. She still looked beautiful and still was the Dorinda I once knew. Immediately I accepted her request. I went into her inbox saying hello. She replied immediately. 

“Dorinda, it’s been so long, where have you been hiding?”

“I’ve been around ooo, just going through life like everyone else.”

“What are you doing now?”
“You know I went to training college, right? So I’m a teacher now.”

We had a lengthy conversation where we ended up exchanging contacts. We called each other often. We chatted often too. One day I asked her, “So you and Joshua, how did it go?” She said, “Hmm, that boy. It’s a very long story. We can’t finish today if we start.” I realized she didn’t want to talk about it so I skipped and went into something else. One day, I told her about my crush on her. She screamed, ”Oh really? and you never spoke to me about it?” I said, “I wanted to but then I couldn’t. Just when I gathered the courage to tell you, I realized Joshua was in your life. There was nothing I could do.” 

“Hmmm,” She said.

We kept our newfound friendship going. She lived in Kumasi and I was in Obuasi. The two places aren’t far apart so I invited her to visit and she came. I sat next to her and realized why I’d loved her for so long. She had grown but growth couldn’t take anything away from her. If anything, she was sober, reflective, and thought carefully before speaking. That day I asked her, “If I proposed to you when we were young, would you have accepted it?” She responded, “I didn’t have the time to think about you when we were young so I can’t answer this question now. I remember I liked you as a person but I can’t tell. I asked her, “How about now?”

She asked, “Now? You want to know if I would say yes to you?” I said, “Yeah, would you say yes or your answer would be no?” She said, “I don’t know unless you try.” I said, “I still want you. I thought I changed but you being here brings back all the memories. Now, I’m a grown man so the feeling is a matured one.” She asked, “Do you know I have a daughter with Joshua?” I went numb for a second. “A daughter? You two gave birth?” She said, “That’s why I told you the other time that it was a long story. Yeah, we have a child together. She’s four now but Joshua is nowhere to be found in her life and mine. Maybe you loved me because you didn’t know this fact. Now that you do, you still love me?” 

READ ALSO: My Boyfriend Left Me Because I Didn’t Wear a Mask

Two weeks later I called and told her, “My feeling for you is still the same. Your past doesn’t change anything. If you would say yes to me, we can build something new going forward.” I wasn’t so sure what I was doing but I was trusting my gut. We started dating. One year later everything was fine between us. She had been a great help and a partner. I met her daughter—she resembles Joshua a little but that was ok. I met her parents. She met my people too and they all gave us the green light. 

When our wedding invitation went out, I heard what Joshua said to other friends. That I was getting married to his second-hand woman. Some old friends also called, asking why I would go that far with a woman who has a child with my friend. “So you’re going to spend the rest of your life taking care of another man’s child?” What they said didn’t bother me. Women are not goods to be used and call second-hand. People are not things. We grow from our past so we are always new—new from our yesterday. 

We went ahead and had a beautiful wedding with those who wanted to wish us well. We’ve been married since 2017. We have three kids now—There’s nothing like her kids and our kids. She has been a woman who pursues her dreams and pushes you to also pursue yours. In all, We have peace and we have happiness. I look at her and tell myself, “Now I understand why I had to wait all these years to make her my wife. Good things take time.”

—Hubert

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF EDITORS OF THIS BLOG.