How My Friend Became My Landlord With Benefits

I spent my early years with both my mum and dad. However, it was only my father who gave me the kind of love and affection a parent should give a child. For some reason known only to my mum, she couldn’t stand me. I know there is a common belief that girls get along better with their dads than they do with their mums. But things were very extreme in my case. There were times when I even wondered if she was my mum.

My dad was everything to me. If something troubled me I would run to him. If I got into trouble with my mum, he would come to my rescue. There was nothing like secrets between us. He filled in all the bank spaces my mother’s lack of affection left in my life. And I am sure I would have turned out alright if the cruel hands of death hadn’t snatched him from me. In as much as I loved him very much, my love was not strong enough to keep him here in the land of the living.

I was only in JHS 3 when it happened. I had hoped that my mother and I would bond over the loss of my father, but I was wrong. Our shared grief did nothing but tear us further apart. I had to take care of myself and support my own education when I got to SHS. I survived on the benevolence of others and my determination to work hard.

Life after SHS was a difficult one but I strived. I couldn’t further my education but I got a job. I couldn’t afford to move out of my mum’s place so I continued to stay with her while I worked. I did not have any peace of mind because of her. She complained about everything I did until I became fed up and confided in my male friend about my home situation. “I live with a mother who treats me like a rival. I don’t know how long I can take it.” “I have an extral room in my house,” my friend said, “I don’t mind letting you live with me until you save enough money to move out.”

At first, I declined the offer, “Oh no, I can’t move in with you. I was only looking for a listening ear, not free accommodation.” But he persuaded me, “The room is just there collecting dust. Is it not better if you come and live in it? Maybe a little distance will help restore some peace between you and your mum.” He made a lot of sense. I needed a place, and he had a place. Why not accept the offer? After some deep thinking, I agreed to move in with him.

He has a girlfriend but I did not have a boyfriend. I had just walked out of a relationship that was full of lies. So I was not ready for another one. I just wanted to focus on work and save enough money to rent my own place. This friend of mine is a shameless womanizer. I know this about him so I have never been interested in him romantically. Because of this, I was always relaxed around him. I knew there was no way anything would ever happen between us.

READ ALSO: I Feel So Ashamed That I Chose The Wrong Man

What I did not anticipate is the effect our proximity would have on me. It was like a pull I could not resist. Our lack of healthy boundaries did not also help matters. Lines got blurred and emotions got tangled up. The next thing I realized we were having shuperu. I felt guilty after it happened but I could not stop. It happened a second time, and a third time, and another time after that. The next thing I realized we were in a “no strings attached” kind of arrangement.

I thought I could handle it until I started feeling jealous every time his girlfriend came around. That was how I knew that I was in love with him. I knew I would only hurt myself in the end, so I stopped having shuperu with him. Unfortunately, I am not able to stop my heart from loving him. Apart from his girlfriend, he comes home with other women. I get high on jealousy when I see them in the house. I can’t also complain, because what right do I have? I am not his girlfriend. I am only someone he is lending a helping hand to. No one asked me to fall in love with him in the process.

How Do I Spend Eternity With A Man Like This? | Beads Media

This wasn’t what I expected when I moved in with him. This is also not the kind of man I want to spend the rest of my life with. So I am doing my best to get over him. The only problem is that I am still living with him. How do you get over someone when you live with them? I have not saved enough money to move out yet, and I am also not willing to move back home with my mother.

That is why I need a way to keep my heart in check while I continue to live with him. I feel like if I can hold on a little longer, I will be ready to get my own place in no time. I know some people will judge and insult me but I need advice on how to function in this difficult situation. Please, share your ideas with me.

–Mickie