I started working at my current job in 2018. Before I joined them Efe was working there. She was assigned to me to show me the ropes. And we clicked instantly. By the time I became well-vested in my role, Efe and I became good friends. I told her everything that happened in my life. Even when someone at the workplace proposes love to me I would run to her, “Efe, look at this message from one of the men in the office. He says he likes me. You were here before I came, so tell me how best I can reject him without making things awkward.”  To all the proposals I received, she told me only one thing, “The men in this company are stingy. If you bill them they will run away.”

True to her words the guys run away after I bill them. And I had the peace of mind to concentrate on work and my relationship. However, not all good things are meant to last. One morning, my happy relationship turned sour in my mouth. My boyfriend left me for no logical reason, and I was a mess. During that time Efe stood by me and helped me pick up the broken pieces of my heart. She never got tired of listening to me through all my stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She was the shoulder I leaned on when I got triggered and fell apart in the middle of my healing journey.

I remember how sometimes I would be at work and get hit so badly that I would run to the washroom to cry. Efe always saw me and followed me to the washroom with tissues in hand. And she would wipe my tears and help me pull myself together. Just as I started to feel better, Efe also got served the heartbreak meal by her boyfriend. It wasn’t easy for her at all. I also stood by her and helped her go through the pain. We both healed together and often made jokes about our predicaments. It was a miserable situation but we were each other’s comfort. And it helped us heal easily.

Efe lived with her mother while I lived alone so we mostly spent time at my place. The bond we shared became so strong that when she left for a nearby town to further her education we were still close. While she was away I visited her on weekends and took her out to have fun. And whenever she came home we were always together. By then we had both gotten boyfriends but it didn’t change anything between us. During one of my visits to her school, we went out as usual and I run into someone from my past, Jeff. We dated and broke up long before I met Efe. We weren’t bitter exes so we spoke briefly and he indicated that he was with his friends. And he invited us to join them.

So Efe and I spent our night out with Jeff and his friends. He told everyone at the table why I broke up with him and we all laughed about it. I didn’t know when Jeff and Efe exchanged contacts. I was at work one day and she called, “Akua, check Jeff’s status right now and tell me if you know the girls he has posted.” I was confused but I didn’t say anything. I went to check the status and saw lots of girls on Jeff’s status but I didn’t know them. I didn’t care to find out who they were either because what Jeff did with his life was none of my business. And honestly, I didn’t expect it to concern Efe either. 

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About a month ago I was texting Efe on a Friday night but I realized she took forever to reply to my messages. So I asked her, “Are you with your boyfriend?” She replied, “No, but I am on a date. I will tell you all about it later.” I was surprised that my best friend didn’t tell me someone asked her out. But I knew she would eventually tell me about it so I kept my calm. I was in bed the next morning when she sent me a text apologizing for her lack of communication, “I am sorry I haven’t told you what’s going on. The person I went out on a date with last night is your ex, Jeff. I didn’t know how to tell you because I don’t know if you would be hurt. Are you hurt?” Sincerely, I wasn’t hurt in any way, but I was very surprised. 

So I called her after reading her text and told her, “The only thing that hurt me is that you hid it from me. Jeff is in my past and I don’t want him anymore, so if you like him you can give him a try.” She didn’t tell me if she was going to date him or not. All I know is that after that conversation things changed between us. She has been keeping her distance from me and I don’t understand why. I have tried to reach out to her but she makes excuses not to talk to me. When I text her the conversation doesn’t go beyond greetings. 

I was on admission at the hospital for three days but because she doesn’t call or text me, she wasn’t even aware.

When I got better I called her to find out why she has changed towards me. I asked her, “Is it because of Jeff? Or did I do anything to offend you?” All she said was, “No, there’s nothing wrong. We are fine.” I care about her and I don’t want to lose her. How can I save the friendship? Or should I just leave her alone? I don’t know how to handle things.

—Akua

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