My periods are heavy and abnormal. They are also very painful. For a long time, I always ended up in the hospital whenever it was that time of the month. Then I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. It all made sense then: the irregularities, the heavy flows, and the excruciating pain.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Some months, I get lucky and they don’t come at all. I know it’s not a good thing if they don’t come but when they do, it’s terrible. I wish they would disappear within seconds. The pain and restlessness become unbearable. I can’t even sleep on my bed. On days I do, I end up staining the bed. So I just lie on the floor, and oddly enough, it gives me some comfort.

Apart from pain and heavy flow, I end up throwing up. My already big tummy gets even more bloated. To control the flow and discomfort, I wear adult diapers. I have to change them more frequently than I would sanitary pads but it’s alright.

Through all of this, the one person who used to make me feel better about it was my boyfriend. At least, for a little while.

He would check up on me throughout the day. If he called and I was crying, he would stay on the phone with me and comfort me. It didn’t do much to help me physically but emotionally, it did.

On days my period came on a weekday, I’d go to his place just so he could hold me. His presence and the care he gave me meant everything to me.

However, all of it ceased about three months ago. He no longer cared if I was in pain or not. He was too busy to pay attention to me when it was that time of the month. Whenever I tried to talk to him about my feelings, he would cut me off, “You’ve been experiencing this for how long now? Shouldn’t you get used to it by now?”

“Ah, why the sudden change?” I asked him one day. He was not ready to talk to me so I snooped around. Guess what I found out?

My boyfriend is part of a Facebook group made up of only men. These men who don’t know anything about women’s bodies claim women exaggerate period symptoms. They say we use our pain to manipulate men into doing things for us. This is the mindset my boyfriend has now adopted.

Reading their posts and comments shattered me. It even hurt me more when I realized my boyfriend had decided to believe a bunch of strangers on the internet than my lived experience. Me, someone he knows and says he loves. Why would I lie about my pain just to get attention?

READ ALSO: Was It Too Much For My Mother-In-Law To Just Say Thank You?

Anyway, I have stopped talking about his changed behaviour since I found out about his group. I also don’t try to involve him in my monthly affairs. I deal with it all quietly now. After all, I’m the one who feels it. He too has not asked about it. Either he hasn’t noticed that I am slowly pulling away from him or he doesn’t care if I do.

I’ve been thinking about leaving him. No, I am not angry or bitter. I want him to be with someone who doesn’t have painful periods, someone whose body won’t make him feel burdened.

I Was Fine Until I Was Alone In My Room

If this is how he reacts to my period, then I can’t imagine how he’d treat me if I got pregnant with his child.

I want to ask if there are women here who understand my experience. Surely, I can’t be the only one whose body turns against me in the name of period.

— Chris 

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB