First, she told me that she doesn’t date. She said, “I had to break up with my previous boyfriend because God revealed to me in a vision that I should do his work.” She said she couldn’t have kept her boyfriend while doing God’s work. And now, she can’t change the rules for my sake. The fact that I have been in love with her for the past three years changes nothing.
Initially, her rejection did not concern me. After all, I am also a Christian. I believed that she would eventually change her mind about me if she saw that I am also committed to the things of God. However, she told me, “I can only be your friend. That’s all I can offer you.”
I accepted her friendship and almost settled for it until she gave me hope. She said, “I might consider dating again after I graduate from the university.” That’s a long shot, considering the fact that she is now preparing to write entrance exams to apply as a mature student to the University of Ghana. I am not sure if she will gain admission but I love her so much that I am willing to hold on to hope. Hope that she would give her heart to me after her graduation. This is crazy, I know. But when has love ever been logical?
Despite her indecisiveness, I stayed in her life as a friend. She would turn to me whenever she is in distress, and I would come to her rescue like a knight in shining armour. Because of this, we were mostly having deep conversations. Sometimes we got carried away by the nature of the conversation and shared our feelings.
During one of these times Emily confessed, “Victor, I am sorry to say this. I don’t know if you’re my husband. I have prayed but God hasn’t revealed it to me yet. That hasn’t stopped me from catching feelings for you. Darling, I am madly in love with you. What are we going to do about it?”
Our affection for each other became stronger after her confession. I would tell her, “If you love me then be with me. Surely, God will not be mad at you for following your heart.” She would smile and say, “Serving God is about sacrifice, not following one’s feelings. I cannot become yours until I receive God’s approval.” She didn’t give me her heart but I knew she loved me. That alone was enough to keep me attached to her.
My problem now is that she has changed. She no longer tells me she loves me. When I send her messages professing my love she would reply, “Thank you.” I don’t know what changed but I don’t like it. I don’t like not knowing what she keeps in her heart. Things were better when she was open about her feelings for me. It made it easier for me to wait for her. Now I am wondering if she is just stringing me along for the benefits.
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When I say benefits, I mean I support her financially. At the end of every month she would tell me; “Victor, I haven’t received my salary yet but I ran out of cash. Can you help me out with some money?” I have never had a problem with taking care of my woman so I always gave her whatever she wanted from me. Yes, I know that she is not yet my woman. But that has never gotten in the way of the help I offer her.
So the fact that she has gone cold on me both confuses and frustrates me. I have asked her to tell me where I stand but she keeps telling me that I should leave everything to God. “Victor, let’s take life as it comes. If it so happens that we are meant to be together fine, we will be together. If it happens otherwise too, so be it. In the end, God will decide.” She tells me that she is waiting on God to show her a sign that I’m the one.
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I don’t know what else she wants to see before she knows that I love her. I also don’t know how long I am supposed to wait for her to finally receive her sign. We are all children of God yet she behaves as if she has a higher purpose than me. I am even thinking she probably received the sign already but she misinterpreted it. Or maybe she received this sign but it was against us being together but she is not able to tell me. What will become of me if I wait around longer than I have done, and she tells me God says no?
I am sure we all know how rare it is to find someone whose footsteps are in sync with our heartbeats. This is what Emily means to me. Although she lacks faith in us, I believe our love was written in the stars. I will wait for her for however long she needs if only she can assure me that I am the one for her. Here lies the case where she wants me to go with the flow and let God decide in the end. This is my dilemma right now. Should I cut my losses and move on? Or should I take a chance and wait for my love? Please advise me.
—Victor
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She’s waiting on God but asks you for money? My friend, be wise and move on. You’re only wasting your time and money by continuing this relationship. She’ll string you along for as long as she needs your money and dump your ass when someone better comes around.
My brother Advice urself, since she has changed towards you, and she’s not ready to say anything to you just move on or better still take your chance and wait for love, at times some waitings are worth the struggle and vice versa.
So be sure that nobody else is in her life, and if that is the case and you are still in love with her, then it makes sense to wait. Maybe some timelines need to be set with her. She needs to be considerate of your needs and wishes, that is if she loves you.
If she wants God’s approval on weather or not to be with you then she needs not to ask you for favors. My dear the same bible says ask and it shall be given, seek you will find, knock it shall be open, is she seeking, asking and knocking with you. Live alone can’t take you far with her, does her, the lady in question is not ready for you or better still you too can wait until she decides what she wants to do with you
Expand your horizon and make some more female friends. Ultimately, you will develop alternatives and options to test your resolve to wait on your friend. Note that she has not led you on. She has told you she can only offer you friend ship. Jacob served for 14 years for the love of his life but his service was based on a defined contract which was respected by all parties once he had fulfilled his side of the bargain. What are you holding on to?
Which heartbeat synch? My brother, God may be giving you rather a sign that she’s not the woman for you; hence, move out there and stop checking up on her and see if she would come around instead of building your whole life around her and end up hurting yourself in the long run.
Place value on your feelings and your entirety. Thanks.
Brother, Kindly move on. The church place is also a place where we get heartbreaks. If you will be truthful to yourself, deep down you yourself you know God hasnt given you any green card concerning this lady. You are rather waiting for her to tell you yes, while you too you are Gods son. God does not run out of option. Just accept your fate, Everything will be fine.
Victor, Victor, Victor! Are you sure you are living in this current dispensation? Come to think 💭 of it, bro. Can’t you see that she’s just using you to complete her course? ‘Na lobe you go chop?’ How much do you even spend on your mom or siblings now and then? And you are giving your resources to someone who doesn’t have your interest at heart. Open 👐 your eyes 👀 because the girl will never fall for you. Stop giving her attention and your money and start giving her excuses and see how things will unfold. There is more to life than wasting your energy on something that doesn’t glimpse anything in your favor. Move on, Papa. You are not a tree 🍃, move.