It started as nothing big. I didn’t even notice it until I was in the middle of it. Charles appeared out of nowhere one dawn and sent me a message on Facebook. I wasn’t asleep, so I responded quickly, “Hey Charles, where have you been all these years?”

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We were in school together. He was the son of a rich man, so, you know, all the ladies, including me, wanted to be in his good books. I admired him from afar because I didn’t think I had the body features to get him attracted to me. But he was a friend. We spoke often, did some work together, and that was it. Sophia was there too. She didn’t like Charles. She said Charles was pompous and manipulative and hated the fact that the ladies were all over him.

I teased her often that she was just jealous. After school, Charles disappeared, but Sophia stuck with me. Until that night, he appeared on Facebook, and we got talking. I took his number, so the conversation became frequent, even at dawn when my husband was snoring beside me—I would be on the phone chatting with Charles.

I would send him a photo, and he would pour compliments on me—how my pretty face hadn’t changed, how growth couldn’t steal my beauty, and how he had wanted me in school but couldn’t say it. I loved his words so much I started looking forward to them. One day, he said we should meet. I froze. He didn’t know I was married, and I didn’t know if I should tell him. I gave him excuses but also gave him hope that we would meet very soon.

My husband?

He’s a good man, but marriage and responsibilities sucked the sweetness out of him. He provides. He works hard to pay the bills, helps around the house, but forgets to look at me the way he used to. I’m not blaming him, but at one point, we both forgot to look at each other. Instead, we fell into the routine of life and didn’t do much of the things that made us fall in love with each other.

After talking to Charles for two months, I decided to see him. I took off my ring so he wouldn’t know I was married. We hugged; he opened the car door for me to get inside and opened it for me to get out. He took me to a place only money could take me. We talked about the old days while my husband was texting to know where I was. I replied, “Sorry I didn’t tell you, but I worked overtime today. I should be on my way soon.”

He believed me and left me alone. While in his car, Charles asked if he could kiss my hand. I gave it to him freely, but he ended up kissing my forehead and said goodnight. When I got home, my food was on the table, warmed to the perfect temperature. He said, “Next time when you come this late, eat before you get here. It’s not good to eat this late.”

I bathed, settled in, and started thinking about everything that had gone on. I saw his messages asking if I was home. I didn’t respond. I was shaking. I couldn’t look into my husband’s eyes. I felt looking into his eyes would make him see what my eyes had seen. He’s a good man. He didn’t deserve what I did that night.

Before going to bed, I texted Charles, “I thought you knew I was married?” He texted back, “What? How would I know? Why didn’t you say it all this while?”

I apologized for not telling him, thinking he would stop, but he kept coming back, pretending I hadn’t mentioned my marriage. Sad to say this, but I kept entertaining him as if I hadn’t told him I was married—until one dawn, I was chatting with him when my husband suddenly woke up and asked what I was doing on my phone. I shuddered and even fumbled with words. I told him I couldn’t sleep. He went to the washroom, came back, and wrapped me up in his embrace. “Just close your eyes; you’ll sleep,” he said.

The next day, I blocked Charles. I didn’t tell him why; I didn’t even warn him. I just blocked him everywhere we had access. I think he got the message, so he didn’t try to come back. I tell myself he didn’t love me that much. If he had, he would have fought his way back, at least to ask why.

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He’s out of the way, but the guilt lives with me twenty-four-seven. I see the good things this man does around here, and I cry inside for betraying him. I needed to talk about this so badly, the only person who came to mind was Sophia. She wouldn’t judge me, but I think I have to spare her this headache and instead make a conscious effort to build this marriage I nearly threw away.

— Maabena

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