When my best friend’s brother proposed to me, I went to her first to seek her approval. I said, “Kuukua, it’s about your brother. You know he had been pestering me for some time now. Just yesterday, he proposed to me. What do you think I should do?” I was already in love with him. The day he proposed, I’d wanted to say yes but it kicked me that I should talk to Kuukua about it so it doesn’t take her by surprise. I grew up with Kuukua. We attended the same junior high school and later attended the same senior high school. We were in the same university too so there’s nothing we don’t talk about. She knew everything about me and I also knew everything about her. So telling her about her brother’s proposal wasn’t something out of the norm.
She said, “You like him?” I said, “At first I had my doubt but the way he had pursued me all these years, I’m thinking I should give him a chance.” She smiled and said, “My brother is no good ooo. I’ve been telling you about him since Uni days when he started pursuing you. That guy…” I said, “I’ve been with guys who looked like saints but later became my devil. Can I try the devil too? This once?” She responded, “It looks like your mind is already made up about him. Yes, people change. I’ve seen worse men turn into best men because of love. Maybe that would be your story. I won’t stand in your way. Go for him. But tell him I have my eyes on him. Any wrong move he picks, I’ll report him to you.”
So I rushed back to her brother and accepted his proposal.
The relationship lasted for only seven months. The first month was so good I thought I was in a dream. I would call Kuukua and tease her, “Next time when you’re out there looking for a man, go with your brother’s specs. He’s everything and more. If I followed your advice and didn’t say yes, by now I would have turned into a fish.” Mostly she would laugh. She would say something like, “I pray it ends well. He has been a bad man before but like I said, when men meet the one they truly love, they change for them. He’s doing it for you because he loves you.”
The following month was different. The phase of love was changing. He would call today and won’t call the next. He would be lovely this morning and turn cold in the evening. He would say, “I love you” today and forget about love tomorrow. I didn’t complain. Phases change, especially when it comes to love. They consume you at first, morning, afternoon, evening. And then you become so available to them. When you’re that available to them, they don’t desire you like the way they did before. Instead of complaining, I decided to pull away little by little, just to make his heart grows fonder for my absence. Every inch I pulled away, he pulled a mile. It didn’t look good so I called for a sit-down talk.
“Anthony, is everything alright? I’m sensing some changes. I just want to be sure.”
“Dear, everything is fine. Sometimes life gets overwhelming. Work comes in the way. Friends would be on your neck and the air around you would change but it doesn’t mean everything is over. We bounce back so rest. Everything is fine.”
One day I decided not to call and see what would happen. All day he didn’t call me. I called Kuukua; “Your brother. He’s giving me the wrong vibes now. I don’t see the head and tail of what’s happening.” She responded, “Wait. Don’t drop the line, I’m adding him.” Seconds later, we were together on a conference call. Kuukua asked, “Anthony, what’s going on between you and my sister? If you think you’ve had what you chased for so you don’t like her again, just go ahead and tell her. Don’t waste our time.”
Anthony got angry and called me childish. “Ain’t you a woman of your own mind? Are you a kid? A kid who will run to her mommy after a small incident? Is that how a mature being like you should behave in a relationship? I don’t date kids so goodbye.” He hung up the call on us without hearing my version of the story. Kuukua said, “Hey sweetheart, come over after work today. We’ll go after him. We need to get to the end of it. He’s like that. Covering issues up with anger, especially when he’s guilty.” I told her, just leave everything for me. I will take it up from here.”
He avoided my calls and left my messages on read. I apologized for bringing his sister in. I even went to his place to ask for forgiveness but this guy didn’t pay me any attention. Finally, he dropped the curtains on our relationship. He sent the message at dawn. I woke up Saturday morning to see the message. All my hopes of getting him back died right at my feet. I was crying when I called Kuukua. She said, “Come over. We know how to deal with these things. This isn’t our first. We would deal with it just fine. So I went to her place and spent the weekend with her.
On Sunday, I went to church with Kuukua. I think they were having a program or so, so other branches of the church were present that day. I’ve been to their church before. Their resident pastor wasn’t the pastor who preached that day. Anthony also came to church that day. Kuukua said, “No matter what happens, don’t look at his way. He might be looking at you. Let him look in vain.” But my heart was troubled. I didn’t hear any of the words the pastor preached. All I saw was that some people were moving forward to the pulpit. That was when I paid attention. The pastor said, “If you’re here and facing any relationship challenges, come forward and let’s pray. Promise and fail? Husband traveled but not calling or messaging you? Walk to the front here with faith and let God take over.”
I got up and Kuukua pulled me down; “Where are you going?” She whispered. I responded, “Am I not having relationship problems? I beg, let me go and tell God my problems.” I was doing it because Anthony was there. I don’t know how I wanted him to feel but I got up and went forward. Those in front there were all women except one guy who looked as lost as I was. The pastor prayed for us and made the mark of the cross on our foreheads with oil. He said, “The mark is a mark of fire. The devil would see you and run. You’ve won the battle in Jesus’ name.”
When I came to sit down, Kuukua laughed at me. She said, “From here if you meet another disappointment then it means God has given up on you. You better become a nun.”
The church closed and we were walking out of the premises when the guy who went in front approached me. I met him with a smile. He said, “Can we talk? Is it a good time to talk?” I answered, “Sure, go ahead.” He didn’t care that Kuukua was standing there. He started, “I think we should be friends. There’s something about you. I want to get closer to know you for who you are. Can I get your number?” I looked at Kuukua and she looked back at me. I called out my number for him. He called my number and asked me to save it. “My name is Fred. I will call you.”
When he turned away, I said to myself, “As for the call you’ll call but who is going to pick?” Kuukua added, “Unless he comes to your house and picks it himself. Even in God’s house, they still want to play smart. These men.”
He called for a whole week and I didn’t pick. I had gone to church to pray, hoping Anthony would come back to me so I didn’t want anyone or any man to come and disrupt my waiting period. One evening an unknown number called and I picked up. It was him—Fred. He said, “I was worried when I wasn’t hearing from you. I hope you’re good?” We talked for about five minutes. He was still talking about the possibility of being a friend. He talked about his work and talked about his dream. I only listened without saying anything. That evening when I went to sleep, I saw him in my dreams. We were praying and sweating. He was in the bedroom and I was in the hall. Praying and shouting for the same thing. He came to the fridge and picked water. He asked me, “How is it going?” I answered, “You’re distracting me. Just leave me alone.” I don’t know what happened again but in the next scene, we were eating together but no one was talking to each other.”
When I woke up the next morning, I called Kuukua. “Guess what I dreamed of?” After telling her everything she asked me, “What did you eat last night before going to sleep? Please don’t eat it again.”
Days later Fred called again and this time I picked. We talked for about ten minutes. He wanted us to meet but I gave him a thousand reasons why we cannot meet. He said, “Let me know when you are free, I will meet you.” That same evening I had a dream about him again. He was playing football and I was on the field cheering him on. It looked like I was the only one on the field cheering him on. He scored a goal and ran to me. He said, “Let’s go home. I’m done with them.” We were on our way when I woke up. I called Kuukua again. She said, “Slowly, you’ll be able to identify all the food you don’t have to eat before going to bed. Keep dreaming. Keep checking your food.”
I called Anthony. I said, “I know we haven’t spoken for a long time but I was hoping one day everything would be fine between us. So far nothing had happened. We are not coming back again, right?” He answered, “Let’s be friends and see what happens.” I told him, “I can’t be friends with you. Do I have a chance?” He said, “We can be friends.” I got my answer. I got my closure. I moved on.
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Fred was always calling. I was giving him cold shoulders but he never stopped coming. The dream came again. I was being chased by a dog. Someone else was also chasing me and the dog. That someone was Fred. He was chasing the dog away. I woke up out of fear. It was around 2am. I called his phone and he picked it up. I asked, “Are you not sleeping?” He said, “I was finding it hard to sleep so I woke up and prayed. I was praying when your call came through.” I told him, “I’m struggling to sleep too.” He said, “Then join me let’s pray.” We prayed for a while. And talked for the rest of the night. For the first time, I was excited talking to him. That day we agreed to meet.
We were out on our fourth or fifth date when he proposed. I said yes. I didn’t think twice about it. Just yes.
I called Kuukua. I told her I’d accepted Fred’s proposal. She said, “If I were you, maybe I would have accepted it earlier than you did. All these dreams and you were there playing hard to get?” I said, “Kuukua, you were the one questioning me on what I ate each time I told you about a dream, remember?” She answered, “And so what? Did I add that you should play hard to get?” We both laughed and for the first time in a long while, that laughter came from a deeper place than usual.
We dated for seven months. I and Anthony didn’t cross seven months but Fred and I got to seven months and got married. At a point, I asked him, “It looks like we are running too fast, ain’t we?” He answered, “I prayed for this for five whole years. You call five years preparation running? We are at the right spot at the right moment. We can’t continue delaying.”
So we got married in 2019. Accra was on lockdown when I went into labor. I had fears. My heart was unsettled but my husband was unmoved. In the end, we gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. My husband nicknamed him Kwabena Covid because of the moment we had him. We have peace and we treat each other with honor. People wake up with their alarm clocks. I don’t. But I always wake up at exactly the same time each dawn because my husband would be up praying for the family. A praying husband—the icing on the cake.
—N.A.P
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