The first time I met him, he helped me carry my laptop to my lecture hall. I needed a hand so I was grateful for his kindness. From that day on, I saw him again and again and again each time I was going for lectures so one day, I said hi and we ended up having a conversation that lasted for several minutes.

I got to know his hostel and also got to know the course he was reading. I showed him my hostel and told him he could come around for lunch one day. Let me admit that I liked him after that lengthy conversation.

We talked on the phone a lot and texted about crazy stuff as we got comfortable with each other. He came to my hostel once for lunch and he talked about it all day. I invited him again and again until it became a usual thing. Whenever he came around, he came with groceries or drinks so we could enjoy ourselves while eating.

A couple of weeks later, we were lovers.

I didn’t enter his hostel because they were four in a room. I’m a shy girl and also didn’t want to inconvenience his roommates. But I knew his hostel and went there often to wait for him on the outside.

I didn’t allow sex, not because of any special reason but because I didn’t want to go to a hotel with him just to have sex and we couldn’t also have sex in my room because of my roommate. He pushed for it every once in a while but I said no.

I closed from lectures one day and went to his hall. I didn’t tell him I was coming. I called and asked him to come out and for several minutes this guy wasn’t coming. He kept giving me excuses until I said, “Tell me your room number, I’m coming there.”

He couldn’t tell me. I was like, “What’s going on there? Do you have a visitor? Are you harbouring another girl there that you can’t leave her?”

His answers weren’t straight so I entered the hall. I didn’t even know where I was going but I tried to see if I could magically identify his room. It didn’t work. He called around 10 p.m. to give me some flimsy excuses.

Another time, I went to his class and he wasn’t there. I asked everyone around the class and nobody seemed to know who he was. I showed a picture to one guy just in case. The guy said, “No, he’s not in this class.” I said, “Are you sure?” He nodded and said, “You can show it to anyone in here and see if they recognize him.

Nobody recognized him. He couldn’t mention his room and now the class he mentioned also didn’t know him? Something was definitely wrong.

The next time we met I asked him to take me to his room. He couldn’t. I asked who was his class captain and he couldn’t mention a name. I said, “You’re not a student, right? You lied to me, right? Tell the truth. You’re not a student!”

He stood there for a while before saying yes and tried to explain. I left him.

I wasn’t interested in any of his explanations. I was hurt but I was ready to find out why he lied and see if I could forgive him. People tell good lies all the time. I was ready to forgive him but wanted clear evidence of who he was. but he couldn’t provide any.

I told him, “Stay off me or else, I will report you to the police. How can you not tell me who you are and still insist you love me?”  I blocked him.

He said he loved me but what is love without the truth? How can I love someone I didn’t know? I thought he might continue following me or harm me so I got scared. I never walked alone. I never went anywhere alone.  The good thing is, he went away and never came back.

—Sandra

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