The day he introduced me to his mother, his mother made a comment that got stuck in my mind. She didn’t intend to say it to my hearing but I heard it anyway. After the introduction and talking for a while, I asked David to show me the washroom. He pointed to the corridor and said, “Go straight. The second door on your left.” I got to the second door, turned the door handle, and it was locked. When I got back to the hall to tell him the door was locked, I heard his mother asking him, “I don’t believe this lady comes from a proper home. See how she had bleached her skin and painted her eyebrows.”

I turned and walked away so she didn’t get to know that I heard what she said. I screamed David’s name from the corridor and asked him to come around. When we left, I asked him, “Your mother doesn’t like me, right?” He asked, “How would you think this way?” I said, “I heard what she said. That I had breached my skin and painted my eyebrows. That I’m not from a good home. I heard it.” He said, “Forgive her. During their youth, fair women didn’t get a good vibe and she had carried it to this point. She doesn’t know you. I do.”

When David and his family came to my house to do the ‘knocking’, I was watching his mom and her demeanor throughout. She felt out of place. She behaved like my house was some hell where everything burned. She was in a hurry. When one of their family members spoke for quite long, she cut in and told him he was making the thing longer; “This thing shouldn’t take this long. Let’s hurry and leave.” My mom picked a hint. My dad didn’t care. When my dad asked them when they intended to come and marry me, David’s mother cut in sharply; “We are going home to think about it. We would revert when we settle on a date.”  

Three days later, David called to ask me when I think would be the best date for the wedding. We settled on May 2019—only six months away. 

Three months to the wedding, David’s mother called me. She said, “Something came up and we need to discuss it thoroughly before you guys decide to go on with the wedding.” My heart skipped a beat. “Something? What could that something be?” She said, “It turned out that David has a child with another woman. We got to know about it only yesterday. I think it’s only fair for you to know since this news changes the dynamics of everything.” I asked, “David has a child? Since when? With who? And how come he didn’t tell me?” She responded, “As I said, we only got to know about it yesterday.” I told her, “Let me talk to David.” She said, “Alright. You guys should decide quickly.”

I called David. 

“Is your mother telling me the truth?”

“My mother? What did she say?”

“You have a child with another woman?”

“Ahhh, she called to tell you that? Who sent her? Why is this woman doing that?”

“Is she saying the truth? That’s the most important thing.”

“Please wait, I’m coming over.”

Minutes later, he was there with me.

“The girl was living with us. My mom brought her from our hometown to live with us after she completed SHS. Yes, something happened between us. It was just twice and she got pregnant. She told me her senior sister was already aware and had asked her to come home so they get rid of it. I gave her money. Her senior sister called again asking for more money and I sent it. A week later, her senior sister called asking for more money. She said the girl hadn’t been well since and I sent money. It got to a time they were always calling asking for money so I blocked them until yesterday, this girl appeared carrying a four-year-old child telling me I’m the father.”

I was dazed for a while. I asked him, “You believe the child is yours?” He said, “Yeah he looks like me. A little. It only means the girl and her sister lied to me. I didn’t tell you yesterday because I wanted to have answers to all my questions. I’m sorry about that but this changes nothing, right?” I said, “It’s too much for me now. I need time to think and get my head around this. Your mother’s actions. That’s my worry now.”

Three days later, I agreed to continue with the marriage. I told him and he told his mother. We were still going to get married in three months’ time. One morning a call woke me up from sleep. The voice said, “You’re a woman and I know you won’t be happy if your fellow woman did that to you. Leave David for me. My child needs a father. Why are you trying to be our devil?” I knew who that was. I asked, “Who gave you my number?” She said, “David.” “You mean David gave you my number to call and tell me this?” Then I heard the voice of David’s mother behind saying, “Tell her, don’t be soft about it. Speak angrily.” I cut the call and called David. “You gave my number to the girl to call me? And why is the girl with your mother?

He said, “Everything that’s happening is my mother’s doing. Please ignore her. If you allow her behavior to get to you, we won’t go far. Please ignore them.” 

It was our plan to discuss the issue at our next counseling session but when we got there the pastor told us, “Your mother and a lady came here the other day. The lady said she had a child with you because you promised her marriage. Your mother thinks it’s not a good idea to get married on the said date so she asked me to suspend the marriage.” I was stunned. I never cried the day the issue came up. Through it all, I remained stronger but that day in front of the pastor, I broke down. I said, “You know what, let’s call this off. The whole thing is killing me. No, I can’t continue. David, I’m sorry but I can’t do this. I thought I was stronger but…”

The pastor said we could reschedule and think thoroughly about things. David said there was no need to reschedule. “We are going to get married pastor. How can we allow them to destroy us this way.” I said calmly, “We are not rescheduling. We are calling it off. I can’t. I just can’t.”

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The day I told my parents about the decision not to go on with the wedding, my dad was very sympathetic. He said, “You’re too young to go through this at the initial stage of marriage.” My mom called David’s mother and it was a showdown on the phone. She gave her a fight I’ve never seen in my life. For close to thirty minutes the two of them stayed on the phone, throwing insults at each other. I heard my mom saying, “You’re lucky I’m not close to you, I would have beaten that witchcraft out of you.” It was my father who snatched the phone and cut the line.

Two years down the line, David still calls to apologize to me. Any time we have a conversation, he’ll say something like, “I messed up but forgive me. I should have tamed my mom right from the beginning but I thought we could simply ignore her.” I tell him I have nothing against him. Maybe it was for the better that we couldn’t get married.” He still wants me. He tells me the storm is over and we could have a new beginning. I tell him, “There’s no need for a storm because I’m out of the picture but that doesn’t mean it’s over. The day I come back, a tsunami would arise to wash off the sands under our feet. This calm is good. Let’s keep it like that.”

—Noelle 

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