Sarah and I started dating in December 2023. Throughout our time together, we never met in person. All our interactions were through text messages and phone calls.

Every time we said to each other, “we should meet,” something always came up. In August last year, we made plans again to meet. We were determined to make it happen this time because I was making preparations to go to the university in September.

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When the time came, Sarah didn’t show up. I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed. I was looking forward to finally putting a face to the woman I had been calling my girlfriend since 2023. Although I had seen her photos and spoken to her on video calls, it wasn’t the same. Experiencing someone physically cannot compare to virtual interactions, you know.

What even made it sadder for me was that she pumped me with a lot of hope. She kept talking about how she couldn’t wait to see me. We talked about where we would meet and the things we would do to make our time memorable.

Perhaps, it would have been more disappointing if she had cancelled ahead of time. But she waited until last minute and just didn’t show up. All I got from her was, “I am sorry I couldn’t make it this time. I will find a way to make it up to you.”

I didn’t want her to feel bad so I told her not to worry about it. “As long you don’t cancel on me the next time we make plans, we will definitely meet.” I was sure of this.

What I didn’t consider is that it’s one thing to make plans but the question is, will life follow your plans? When I got to university, we maintained our regular and consistent communication despite the change in my schedule.

I thought I had my life on campus cut out for me. The focus was supposed to be on school and church activities. I expected to make a few friends along the way but I didn’t think I would encounter any crazy life-changing moments.

Well, it happened that I met a lady on campus called Linda. I am older than her but she is a year ahead of me. It was all friendship at first. Considering she was in the school before I got there, I turned to her whenever I needed information about school activities and places. That’s how we got close.

The closer we got, the more time we spent together. Needless to say that we developed feelings for each other over time.

I knew I was drawn to her but I didn’t want to act on it, seeing as Sarah was still in the picture. But everything changed when Linda came to visit me one day.

That day, the tension between us was so thick you could cut through it with a knife. Neither of us wanted to adress the elephant in the room. So we danced around the subject while we spoke about other things.

I thought it would help diffuse things but it didn’t. I found my lips locked in hers in a passionate kiss before I knew what was happening. It was as if I was starving and she was the only meal available. We ended up having sex.

As a devout Christian, I felt guilty after I came to my senses. I had told God I would honour him with my body and wait until marriage before I get intimate with anyone. Only to lose it all in a matter of minutes because I couldn’t control myself.

After what happened between me and Linda, I didn’t feel right about acting like it didn’t happen. My Bible says intimacy creates a bond between two people and makes them one. So I felt the need to stay and continue what we started.

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A few days later, I called Sarah and told her what happened. It wasn’t a pretty scene. I knew I wronged her by cheating. However, breaking up with her was even more painful.

I felt the right thing to do was to move on but I can’t get over the guilt of hurting her. So I am here asking if I did the right thing. Should I have let Linda go and continued my long distance relationship with Sarah instead? At the end of the day, someone would have still gotten hurt, right?

—Peter

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