The very first day I stepped foot in the office to submit my national service letter, he was the one I met. He gave me a seat and offered me a drink. After making myself comfortable he told me, “We’ve been expecting you. There is a lot of work for you to do.” The way he spoke to me, I thought he was the owner of the company or the overall boss of the company. It was after some days at the office that I realized he wasn’t a top-top person but I appreciated his friendship and his care for me. He went out of his way to help me settle and even supported me in my work. He was the one I was reporting to directly so he made the work very easy for me.

Three months later he proposed. I said, “Are you allowed to date your subordinate?” He said, “Love knows no subordinate that’s why I’d fallen for you. Just say yes.” Honestly, I liked him too but more as a person than someone I would get myself involved with romantically. He spent some weeks chasing me all over the place just to have me say yes. I loved him too but I wasn’t comfortable being involved with someone I work with, let alone someone I report directly to. But he said something that drew my attention to other possibilities. He said, “After service, you’ll leave this place. You and I would no longer be working together. Have you thought about that?”

I said, “Then why don’t you wait until I’m done with service?” He said, “I can’t take that risk. What if someone grabs you? I don’t want to be that guy who snoozed and lost.” So I said yes to him. We were trying to hide it. We were talking less during working hours so our conversation could be longer after work. No matter how hard we tried, a couple of colleagues got to know about it and it later became known to all the people in our office.

He was kind and very considerate but at some point, I picked a certain trait that I didn’t like about him. Roses come with thorns. We love them all the same so I loved him regardless of that. He was quick-tempered. Little things got to him and when that happened, he could say anything to you without thinking about how you’ll feel. It happened once. It happened twice. We had a conversation about it. He accepted his shortcomings.  He promised; “I’m aware of the anger issues. I’m working on it. A day at a time. Everything would be alright.

Getting to the end of my service, he asked me to write an application for him to submit on my behalf. He said, “I can make a case for you. You’ve done extremely well ever since you’ve been here. I’m not saying this because you’re my girlfriend. It’s a true reflection of your dedication to work.” I wrote it and he submitted it. They gave me three months contract pending the approval of my application. After three months, I was giving full-time employment. Two years later, I’m still here. Still working with him while trying to balance my act to keep our relationship going.

His temper hadn’t gone down. If anything, It has gotten worse.

There’s another colleague in a different department who plays with me a lot. He warned me to stay away from him. I said, “You have nothing to fear. I have you so I need no other.” One afternoon he came to meet me and that colleague at the cafeteria. He didn’t even greet. I tried to play with him and he snubbed me. He didn’t talk to me again until after work when he told me, “If you think he’s the one you want, leave me and go for him. I hate women who are all over the place.” I was deeply hurt but I tried not to fight.

After that, he didn’t talk to me for over a week. I will send a file to his desk and he wouldn’t work on it. He’ll intentionally cause delays so I would be blamed for not doing my work. Not once and not twice. At meetings, he’ll point accusing fingers at me for being the one who wasn’t doing her work. Another day, we went out and his car wouldn’t start. He needed a push so I called some guys to help us push. After pushing for over ten minutes, the car started. When I sat in I said, “Old cars and their special ways of embarrassing you.” It was something I said for fun. 

He got angry. He started screaming, “You call my car old? Where is your own? Is it not the same car that I used to toast you? When you were seated in it and it was moving, you didn’t know it was an old car? If it’s causing you embarrassment then get down.” Before I could say a word, he got out of the driving seat, came to the passenger seat, held my hand, and dragged me out of the car.” He said, “Nonsense, if it’s an embarrassment, then buy your own.” 

He caused a scene. One lady told me, “If he’s your boyfriend then end it today. A guy like him belongs to the forest.” I said to myself, “This is where it ends.” I went to the office the following week and was determined not to talk to him. He tried delaying my work so anytime I sent something to him, I followed it up with a mail, copying his boss. He realized I was on a different mission. He called one night trying to pretend everything was fine. I gave him straight answers. He called another time and I didn’t even pick.

One day he came home with an apology; “You know me. You’re the only person who understands my situation. My temper, I’m working on it. I need your help to succeed. Please don’t turn your back on me.” I said, “I was doing my national service when you started talking about working on your temper. Two years later, you’ve gotten worse but you keep telling me you’re working on it. You won’t fool me this time. Stop coming to me because I’m not coming back.”

He pursued me until I let things go. I’m a fool I know. The day I accepted him again, I heard that lady’s voice in my head, “You’re such a fool to give such a man another chance.” I loved him. I wasn’t blind to the red flags. I was only staring at the good things he had done for me. Those things were too huge for me not to be sober. We were good for only a month until the devil in him came up again. What did I even do?

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He called one night and it was a call waiting. He kept calling until I finish with the person and picked his call. He was burning with anger. He asked, “So the one you’re talking to, is he so important that you can’t cut it and pick my calls? Who was that?” 

“A friend.”

“A friend from where?”

“You don’t know him.”

“So it’s him. No wonder you didn’t pick my call. He’s the guy you’ve been sleeping with, right?”

“How can you say that? You don’t even know him.”

“If you’re not sleeping with him why would you not pick my calls?”

It was too much for me so I cut the line. The next hour or so, he was in my house. They should allow him to come and beat me for cutting the line on him. He started screaming, “Remember where I picked you from. You had no job but I gave you a job. Now you’ve grown wings so you can cut the line on me?” My neighbors pushed him away while I closed my door. We haven’t spoken for a month now. We both go to work and complete our duties without talking to each other. When he wants me, he sends a mail. I also do the same.

A few days ago, he called me; “I’m sorry for everything. Give me one more chance. Just a single chance only and I will make things right.” I don’t like him anymore. Actually, I hate him. I don’t want to see him again but the only way not to see him again is to leave the place. That work pays me very well and it’s closer to where I live. I don’t want to leave but this guy keeps pestering me every day. How do I cut him off without leaving my job? He’s been good to me so I don’t want to do anything to hurt him but I don’t want to see him around me again. I’ve told him. He keeps coming. I need advice.

–Georgette 

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