I live with my uncle. I have lived with him for a while now. He has seen me through school and now I have completed. I am yet to get a job but my mind is plagued with some matters of the heart. This whole thing I am feeling came out of nowhere. It’s the first time I have found myself in this situation.

Ever since I came to live with my uncle, I have never had romantic feelings for any house help who has come to live with us let alone profess love to one. I have never even attempted to have a relationship with them that went beyond their domestic duties in the house. However, the lady currently working in the house as a help has had a different effect on me.

I am twenty-eight but she is younger. Despite her age, she is quite mature. She was married once but now is divorced. When she opened up about her past, one of the most difficult things she talked about was her marriage. She let me understand that she is a survivor of domestic violence. I honestly believe if I had known her then, I would have done everything in my power to protect her from that monster of a man.

According to her, her ex-husband was the kind of man who believed in expressing his displeasure about everything using violence. He used to beat her up at the slightest provocation. They had a child but that didn’t change the man. No matter how many times he apologized, he continued to be abusive. It wasn’t until she got the courage to leave the marriage that the abuse stopped.

As she is working to take care of her child, I wonder if I have anything to offer her. As I stated earlier, I am just a guy who finished college and hasn’t been able to secure a job. I sell fashion accessories to get by but that income is not stable. It would have been better if I had a stable income while running the business on the side.

As we talk and bond over our past experiences, I find myself in a place where I am in love with her. I should state that she is not the first woman I have ever experienced amorous feelings for. She just happens to be the first one working in the position of our maid that I am drawn to.

She knows about my struggles when it comes to money. She knows about my past relationships as well. All the women who broke my heart and the relationships that failed due to circumstances beyond the control of both parties. She knows all of them. And whenever she gets the chance, she tells me; “Don’t worry, Maxwell. I have been praying for you. You will get a job soon and your finances will take a turn for the better. As for your love life, I pray God gives you the right partner one day.”

Sometimes I am thankful for her encouraging words. Other times I wonder why she wants God to give me a partner one day. Does she not see that I like her? Or she pretends not to see it because she does not like me? I am saying this because I do whatever she tells me to do. It’s my way of showing her that she matters to me.

READ ALSO: If I Choose This Marriage, My Uncle Will Never Help Me Again.

I used to have a shabby and unkempt appearance. You would take one look at me and know that I am struggling financially. She didn’t like that about me so she started talking about it. I would dress up to leave the house but the moment she says, “Your clothes, I think you should iron them a little.” Before you know it, I have returned to my room to press my shabby clothes.

My hair and beard had me looking like a homeless person most of the time. She is the reason I now visit the barbering salon regularly. Even when I am unable to, I comb my hair and make sure my facial hair is not looking rough.

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Now when you see me, I look clean and smart. My friends keep asking me, “Have you gotten a job? Which company are you working for?” My sense of fashion has even changed because of this lady. There is so much about my life that she has added value to. I suppose that’s why she easily won my heart. I just don’t know if I should tell her how I feel. I am worried she would think I am trying to take advantage of her vulnerable situation.

My birthday is fast approaching. She has agreed to offer me her company that day. So my question is, do I use this opportunity to appreciate her encouraging words when things get hard, and also tell her I am falling for her? Or maybe the timing is not suitable and I should wait a little? I just don’t know the right way to approach this. Help out a brother.

— Maxwell, Malawi

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