I was with Augustine when my ex-boyfriend, Jerry, returned to my life. We had broken up because he said he wasn’t ready for marriage but he couldn’t stay away. I too didn’t turn him away when he came back because of how deeply I loved him. Ours was the kind of love that had us always finding our way back to each other. Except this time, I had another man.
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I should have told him about Augustine but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to. Just as I couldn’t tell Augustine that my ex was back in the picture. What good would it do me anyway? The man I was with wanted to marry me while my ex wasn’t ready. So I just kept quiet and dated both men simultaneously.
Along the line, Augustine told me he was ready to tie the knot. We had already begun the process and gotten our families involved. We were just putting a few things together so we could set the date. And finally, he came up with the date.
While preparations were going on, I had to find a way to break the news to Jerry. He didn’t already know there was another man in the picture. And I wasn’t about to come clean at that moment. So I told him I met a man who wanted to marry me.
“You said if I meet someone who is ready for marriage I can go be with them. So I have agreed to marry this man.”
“You are going to marry a man you just met?”
I explained that he was a friend already but he just proposed marriage. “I know he is a good man. He is a young pastor.”
In the end, I let Jerry understand that I would no longer continue what we have.
“Let me see you one last time then. Let’s end things with a memorable goodbye,” he requested.
I agreed and we met right before I got married. As always, it was magical. After everything, we didn’t say much to each other. What more was there to say anyway? We accepted that we had come to the end of the road and moved on.
A few weeks after marriage, I found out I was pregnant. Per my calculations, it wasn’t my husband’s pregnancy. Immediately, I called Jerry and told him.
“This pregnancy is seriously going to complicate our lives if you keep it. You are a married woman carrying your ex’s baby. How are you going to explain that? It’s best you get rid of it.”
“I can’t do that. I already sinned when I fornicated with you. I don’t want to add to my sin by doing the unthinkable. Besides, what if this is the only child God gives me? I can’t take that risk. I will keep it and face the consequences when it comes.”
When he tired of trying to persuade me, he gave up and supported my decision.
The first trimester almost broke my body. I had to quit my job and stay at home. During this period, Jerry reached out and said, “I want to send you money every month to take care of yourself since you are no longer working. That way your husband will not be too burdened by the cost of solely taking care of you and the home.”
I manage a small business. That was how I explained to Augustine the extra money I brought home.
Throughout the pregnancy to the time I gave birth, Jerry sent me money every month. When the date of delivery got closer, he sent me a huge amount of money. He said, “Put this aside in case there’s an emergency that requires money.”
After delivery, he increased the monthly payments. He is not doing all this with the intention of claiming the baby or trying to get close to me again. He says it’s only fair that my husband is not left to shoulder the responsibility of another man’s child.
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I also make sure whatever money Jerry gives me benefits the home. I am still not working but Augustine doesn’t ask where I get the money from. He believes it’s all coming from my business.
I know it appears that I have it all figured out but I don’t. Yes, I have a perfect system that works but here’s the thing, I feel guilty about the deception. The fact that Augustine is a pastor even makes me feel worse. He doesn’t deserve to raise another man’s child thinking it’s his own.
I Was The Man In The Relationship And He Didn’t Like It
So many times, I have thought about coming clean so I can face the consequences of my actions. But I don’t have the courage to do it. The guilt is also eating me up the longer I stay quiet.
I don’t know what to do. Is it even a good idea to tell him? What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right? Besides, Jerry is contributing to child care so he is not doing it all alone. Even if I have to tell him, how do I go about it? How do I break such news as delicately as possible? I’m stuck between my desire to confess and my lack of courage to do it.
—Julia
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I’m a lady but these issues make me wish such acts are punishable by law! God will personally deal with you if you don’t come clean to your pastor husband.
Say the truth. Remember that if your child is a male the same wil be done to him because you did it to someone’s son. Ebeei delilah’s daughters are too many in this world. You kraa don’t you feel guilty, ashamed etc? Tena h)e3 wote h) saa na asem b)ne asi.
If you crave a peaceful home, you must keep quiet about your secret!
eeeih so if this happened to your brother will you be happy
She doesn’t crave a peaceful home. Otherwise she wouldn’t have done this deed right before her marriage!
I guessed with all these deeds u still go to church happily and praising God, you don’t have any guilt to confess. No one is a saint but anytime one commits a sin, we just have to confess and do the right thing
if you have confessed to ur husband earlier, things would have been calmed now. So how do you feel when you’re with ur husband? Eii, some women get heart oo
Just come clean and you are lucky the real father is financially stable
The mercies of God are new every morning indeed . Absolutely no one can understand God with the kind of sin we keep committing and how we want to tackle them. I’m just overwhelmed and I can’t imagine any man in this position. May God give you wisdom and guidance in this situation and may He work all things together for His good. If there are any consequences , kindly own up and take it accordingly. All the best
Tell your husband that you’ve fallen out of love and so you will leave the marriage. This is without regard to whether the ex will marry you or not, otherwise you won’t get any peace in the marriage. Telling him now is not a good option, it will destroy too many things and lives. Just leave regardless of what he says. It’s not every truth that is told.
Jerry, obviously is childless at the moment hence why he’s PROBABLY helping out.
He doesn’t claim or claims to be helping out because he knows the child is his.
Now in future, should he be denied of a child, do you think he wouldn’t come to claim it???
He has all the receipts to show that he’s the one taking care of the child.
The law will take his sides when all those receipts surfaces and trust me you wouldn’t want that.
Won’t tell you what to do
Take what you can take from this
Just as you thought if you get rid of it and that was only the child God has given you hence why you didn’t go ahead with it, put him there in such thought and see if he won’t claiming when the tables turn.
Enjoy the consequences
Good luck
Wow… some issues are really so heavy to even imagine in real life o. And to think this is not even a story or drama but real life. When one commits a crime the first time, he or she is called a first time offender. But with these too many injustices, my dear, you are already a pro. Keep being a pro until you are caught. Otherwise, try not to get caught. But how long ehn? You feel guilty abi you no feel guilty in the presence of your husband? So you no even marry for love, you left your lover to marry because you want to marry? Restitution is a natural order. Be strong and be wise
Even if you don’t tell your husband soon or later him we know about your secret child and that we ruin your peaceful home,so is better you put your courage and tell your husband about the child i hope him aspect the child and if him did’nt that your fate oo just keep praying oooo
All the hypocrites in this world. The fear of God didn’t prevent you from cheating on your fiance, lying to him about the paternity of your child, lying to him about the child support that you receive from your baby daddy, continuing to deceive your husband while living in his house.
You’re a very wicked person. You should have confessed when you got pregnant. With every day that passes, Augustine is getting more attached to your child. And Jerry will eventually claim his child. It is clear that his conscience is already bothering him.
Is like You are out of your senses that’s why your comment is unreasonable stupid