Whenever I visit her, she serves me food she had prepared for my coming. I love the care and plan she puts in my visit but the food she serves isn’t worth it. She tries but she doesn’t know how to cook. We’ve dated for five months and I’ve eaten every dish she can cook. None is worth the effort she puts in. If I have to be blunt, she’s wasting the ingredients.

My love for her has nothing to do with her cooking ability. She’s a kind woman. You should see her doing food for me. You should listen to her talk about not wasting money, the reason she cooks for me each day I visit her. You should see her with me and you’ll know why I wouldn’t care about her cooking ability.

I’ve tried many means to stop her from cooking; “Babe, I’m coming over. You don’t have to cook. I’ll order something and bring it along.” She’ll convince me not to waste the money and still go ahead and cook.”

“Babe, let’s go out today for some fresh air. We don’t always have to meet in the house.” She’ll tell me to come home and eat first so we don’t spend so much on food.

Sometimes, I don’t tell her I’m coming so she won’t have to cook anything. Those are the days I suffer the worst side of her culinary incapacity. She’ll put what she has in the microwave and heat it for me. The food wouldn’t be totally warm. Cold at the side, warm at the bottom, lukewarm at the top. She gave me some okro stew like that and I ran for three days.

What she hates to hear is, “I’m full today so forget about food.” She would respond. “My mom says if someone visits and refuses to eat, then there’s a problem.”

From the way I see it, there’s no way I can run from her culinary misgivings so I have to tell her the truth. But how do I do it without hurting her feelings? She loves to cook and she thinks she’s good at it. The little times we’ve had to eat outside, she complained bitterly about what we ate. Saying, “You see why I should cook what we eat, this is not well cooked.”

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After every meal, she would ask me, “Did you enjoy it?” Because of her, I’ve turned into a liar.

I don’t have a big problem like that. It’s not my worry that she can’t cook. She loves to do it so she can polish it along the way but how do I bring to her attention that she’s been cooking miracles since we met?

—Jerry

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