I had one child when I met George about four years ago on a dating site. He said he was looking for a wife.

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“I have two kids I am raising all by myself. And it gets lonely sometimes. That’s why I am looking for someone to help me shoulder the burden.”

“Where is their mum?”

“She died.”

“Oh, I am sorry for your loss.”

“It’s alright. Where is the father of your child?”

I explained to him that my baby daddy was not in the picture and that I too was raising my child as a single parent. The conversation flowed into our pasts. Soon, it felt like I had known him all my life. When he eventually proposed love to me, it didn’t feel like it was coming from someone who was new to me.

He told me I was the woman he would like to marry. I believed him. I was also sure he was the man I would spend the rest of my life with. It all felt cosmic, knowing that we were on the same page.

Three months into the relationship, I found out I was pregnant.

“You can’t keep it. I am not ready for another child,” he reacted to the news.

It was a lot of back and forth. I was not on the same page with him on this one. I told him I had never done such a thing before, and I did not intend to do it. He had two children while I had only one. What if I went through with what he wanted and I never got to have another child? This was the thought that had me grounded in my stance to keep the pregnancy.

Eventually, he caved. He agreed with me that we should have the baby. “You should start antenatal clinic,” he said. “I will do my best to support you.”

I started antenatal clinic, but this man was nowhere near me, let alone offer me support. He never answered even one of my calls.

I went through the pregnancy journey alone. It was hard as hell. By the time it was time to deliver, I had suffered some complications. I couldn’t have the baby through vaginal birth. We all know how expensive caesarean surgery is in Ghana. When I called this man to come pay the bills, his interest was in the gender of the child.

I didn’t tell him whether the baby was a boy or a girl, so he called me disrespectful and refused to talk to me. It was my mum and brother who paid the bills before I got discharged.

Regardless of his behaviour since I conceived, I called him to come and name the baby. George told me, “I have given the child to you. I want nothing to do with this path you have chosen.”

It’s been over three years since he made that statement. Truly, George hasn’t come anywhere near me or the baby. He has never seen our daughter to know whether she is fair, dark, skinny, fat, tall, or short.

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I never met any of his relatives within the three months that we dated. I met one of his friends though. However, when I went to the guy’s house, I was told he had moved out.

I also don’t know where my baby daddy lives currently. I can only reach him by phone. And so far, he hasn’t responded to my calls that he should take responsibility for his child.

He keeps telling me he doesn’t want any part of it. But if this child grows up right now, won’t he come and claim her? I would do all the work, and he would come and reap the fruits when our daughter grows up and starts asking questions about her father.

This is why I don’t want to let him off the hook so easily. I want to report him to the right authorities, but I don’t know how to do that when I don’t know his address. I need guidance on this. How do I get him to take responsibility when I don’t know where he is or how to find his family?

—Jean

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