Officially, I am a single man. By this, I mean I am not married. That’s just about it. In practice, though, I have two women in my life. I have been dating the first one for eleven years. The second one came onto the scene only two years ago.

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My first girlfriend’s name is Sonia. We live together with our nine-year-old daughter. She is exactly the woman I have always wanted to build my life with. That’s why we’ve been going strong all these years.

For many years, we lived a good life. I worked hard and took care of the home. Where I fell short, she stepped in with her earnings. This teamwork is how we’ve kept our family provided for and well catered for throughout the years.

Unfortunately, all of it changed two years ago when I started having some financial troubles. This affected my ability to provide. Since then, Sonia has been holding the fort. She does most of the heavy lifting while I support her with whatever I get when I go out and hustle.

I’m not going to lie, watching the tables turn wasn’t pleasant. The fact that, as a man, I could no longer provide for my family took a toll on my self-esteem. I’m not saying this to justify my actions, but in my quest to validate my masculinity, I started looking at other women. That was when Matilda caught my eye.

With her, I didn’t fall from grace to grass. I was already down when I met her. When we started getting close, I opened up to her about my money troubles. She didn’t mind. “I like you for who you are, not because of what you can offer me,” she said.

It felt good to be with her. There were no responsibilities. No expectations. No obligations to fulfill out of duty. It was all fun and good times whenever we were together. She didn’t know about Sonia. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. How would that conversation even come up?

“Babe, I love you, but I also have a baby mama I’m still in a relationship with.” Who would say something like this to a woman who takes care of them?

Yes, Matilda has been generous to me since she came into my life. She showers me with gifts and money whenever I spend time with her. She has a good job, so I didn’t question the source of her money. Maybe that was where I faltered.

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For two years now, I have known that I am not the only man in her life. She is in a relationship with two other men. I found out shortly after we started dating. They are the ones who give her so much money for her to extend her generosity to me. I was hurt when I found out, but I couldn’t talk. After all, she, too, is not the only woman in my life. So I decided to mind my business and let her do her thing.

Now, I have gotten to know the two men. She casually introduced them to me as her friends. Of course, she doesn’t know that I know they are more than her friends. Another thing she doesn’t know is that she is not the only woman these men are seeing outside their marriages. I have seen each of them on more than one occasion at the pub in compromising positions with other girls.


Although the girls look like high-class girls, it’s kind of scary to know that they are sleeping with men who are also sleeping with a woman I have intimacy with. I don’t like using condoms. Which means, if they catch something, she will get it from them and pass it on to me.

Unlike Matilda, Sonia is very loyal to me. She is a good woman. I would hate for her to contract an STD because I strayed. My dilemma is that sometimes the gifts and money Matilda gives me cushion me when I am not able to make money from my hustle. It makes the thought of losing her difficult. What do I do?

— Ramsey

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