
I dated my husband for four years before marriage. The only thing he knew how to drink was water and soft drinks. I never saw beer bottles or any other alcoholic drink bottles in his house. After we got married, we relocated, and he made new friends in the community because he played football with them.
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One evening, my husband came home from town reeking of alcohol. “Oh, I just tasted a little. I wanted to see how it tastes,” he said. The next time, he told me, “Oh, I wanted to know how it feels to be drunk.”
His manners and speech were uncoordinated. He couldn’t even stand still. I gave him food to eat, but he sat next to it, dozing off. I took videos of him and showed them to him the next morning. He laughed. I said, “This isn’t funny. Slowly, you’ll become lovers with the bottle. Cut it out. Don’t let it happen again.”
But it got worse. Anytime he got a call from a friend and stepped out, he would come home drunk. Because he was new to drinking, he came home looking completely disoriented. Sometimes, I wondered how he was even able to drive home.
I pleaded with him to stop. Whenever he tried to step out, I begged him not to drink, but he would come home drunk anyway. So, I started blocking his friends from his phone. Anyone who called him and suggested they go out, I blocked that person and deleted their number.
I don’t remember how many I blocked, but there were many. I could hear him arguing and explaining himself to other people, telling them he didn’t block anyone. Even those people he tried to explain things to, I ended up blocking them too.
Eventually, he figured out I was the one doing it, and he turned the fight on me. I didn’t deny it. I was honest and told him they were the reason he was drinking. He disagreed. He tried to bully me with the idea of “headship,” telling me he could think for himself. My plan was to cause chaos between him and his friends, and it worked—until he changed his password.
She Invited All My Friends To The Wedding Except Me
Now, it bothers me and makes me anxious that I can’t go through his phone to know what’s happening in his life. I used to believe my husband wouldn’t cheat, but now I can’t say that for sure because of the kind of friends he associates with. If they can influence him to drink, what else can they influence him to do?
How do I handle this situation? I’m not saying he can’t have friends, but how can I keep those bad influences away from him?
—Efia
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His parents
Giving him an ultimatum will do. Example you take of the ring and let him know that if he refuses to change and still get in touch with his other friends then it means he has chosen his friendship over you so you will leave him. Don’t fight him physically sometimes you have to force people to change by using your wits. Acting cold towards him will worsen things. If it doesn’t work then involve a pastor or his parents. You can also play the I don’t care attitude it might get him to reevaluate his attitude.
Ask him of Jerusalemif he would want his daughter to be married to a man as unpredictable as he is becoming. Today it’s drinking, getting drunk etc, who knows what may come next? Is he a man he would be proud of to call his daughters husband? He is telling his son that is how a man should behave, and telling his daughter that is the standard of what she should look for in a man.
You should start with ignoring him to the point of him going with his key so he lets himself in cos i believe he comes back late, then separate beds cos trust me the stench and snoring of a drunk person is awful. If it doesn’t change, then involve parents and religious people to help.
By kicking them