I was in my second year at SHS when I met Kwabena. We lived in the same neighbourhood but we barely spoke to each other. Somewhere along the line, we became friends, and through that friendship, he confessed his love for me. I flatly turned him down but he is not the kind of person to give up easily. So he continued to pursue me for a year until I agreed to be his girlfriend. I was still in school then so he never allowed me to visit him, not even when I was on vacation. He usually told me, “Gina, I want you to focus on your studies. It shouldn’t be that you fail your exams because of me.” I didn’t have a phone then so our communication was limited.

When I was left with a few weeks for me to complete school I went out of campus with some friends to buy food. That was when I met John. There was something about him that made me uncomfortable. He hadn’t said anything offensive to me but I just didn’t like him. So when he asked for my name I gave him the wrong name. My friends and I went back to campus and I thought I would never lay eyes on John again. But one day I was going out of campus when I met him at our school gate. I didn’t even recognize him. He was the one who excitedly said, “Georgia! Finally, I have seen you. I have been coming here every day since I met you, hoping to find you but no one in this school knows Georgia. Is that not your name?”

In as much as it pained me, I admitted to him that I had lied to him about my name. I told him my real name then, and he asked where I come from, and I told him that too. Again, I thought I was about to complete school so I wouldn’t have to deal with John for much longer. But this man had his own plans. He went to my village, which is a small village, and looked for my house. He met my father at home, and only God knows the kind of conversation they had. All I knew was that after I completed school and came home, my father wouldn’t stop talking about what a nice man John was. It unnerved me but I ignored him and focused on my relationship with Kwabena. Because I had completed school, Kwabena didn’t object to me visiting him.

I knew my father wouldn’t endorse my relationship so I had to sneak out of the house whenever I wanted to visit my boyfriend. One evening, I snuck out to go and see him as was the routine. The moment I entered his room we heard a pounding on the door. “Who is it?” Kwabena shouted, but there was silence, and then another pounding. So he went to open the door, and in rushed my father. He didn’t even speak, he just started hitting me. When Kwabena tried to intervene, my father slapped him. And then dragged me home. When we got home he started yelling, “I have been seeing you sneaking out of this house but I was hoping it was not because of a boy. Until I followed you today and realized it was because of that Kwabena boy, who doesn’t have anything to offer you. I don’t want you to see him again, you hear?”

READ MORE: I Was Happy When His Girlfriend Broke Up With Him But That Happiness Didn’t Last

My father’s dramatic attempt to tear me and Kwabena apart failed. I continued to sneak out of the house to go see him, except this time I was more discreet about it. We continued that way until the WASSCE results were released. I passed six subjects and failed two core subjects. Which means I wouldn’t be able to further my education until wrote those papers again. When my dad saw what had to be done he said, “I don’t have money to pay for you to rewrite the exams. But I have spoken to John and he is willing to support you. His only condition is that you go and live with him in Kumasi and attend the classes over there.” The words coming out of my father’s mouth sounded like a bizarre joke. I told him that I wouldn’t go live with a man who was practically a stranger to me. His response was, “Do you want to rewrite those papers and further your education? Or do you want to spend the rest of your life in this village where nothing will become of you?”

I knew he was right. My village is as remote as a village can be. I won’t amount to much if I live here. So I spoke to Kwabena about my dad’s plan. He was upset but he didn’t have the money to support me so he accepted things as they should be. We agreed that nothing would come between us no matter what. That day I allowed him to deflower me, and he promised to wait for me. When the day arrived, I left my village for Kumasi with high hopes. Only to have those hopes dashed when I got there. John told me, “Yes, I will support you to rewrite those papers and even support you through tertiary school. But how do I know that my investment will not be for nothing?” Before I could say anything he said, “So in order for me to feel secure in this relationship, you have to give me a child first. When that happens I will know that you will be bound to me.” I felt revolted by his proposal. He is nineteen years older than me, and I don’t find him appealing enough to love him, let alone bear him a child. I also didn’t want to go back to the village with nothing.

I Didn’t Marry You To Become A Baby-Making Machine—Beads Media

So I got a job as a salesgirl and saved as much money as possible. I stayed with him for a whole year hoping he would change his mind about the baby thing but he refused. When I saw that I had gathered enough money I told him I didn’t love him enough to have his child so I would like to return to my village. He disagreed but I stood my ground and left for the village. My father got angry when he saw that I was back in town. He tried to get me to go back to Kumasi but I didn’t bother with him. I used my savings to register for classes and wrote my exams. Thankfully, I passed the exams this time around. The problem is, my dad has refused to help me further my education. He is not even talking to me. All he does is go around the village telling people that Kwabena has used juju on me. He said it’s the only reason I left a big city like Kumasi and returned to our village, where dreams die.  He said he doesn’t understand why I would choose Kwabena, a man who has nothing, over John, a man who would have given me everything.

I am currently twenty-five, and Kwabena and I are still together. Our love is stronger than anything money can provide and I am happy with him. How do I convince my father to see things my way? How do I get him to accept Kwabena as the man I love? Please I need advice.

— Gina

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