Love is a confusing game, and I think that’s why we all make mistakes when it comes to love. I was single for three years, and during that time, only two guys pursued me. The first guy was six years younger but had the audacity of a prancing pony. He chased me everywhere, trying to make me fall for him. I told him, “Massa, I’m not your mate ooo, or did you see a candy stick in my mouth?”

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He responded, “Would I need a ladder to climb on top of you because you’re older?”

Even when I was disrespectful to him, he didn’t stop coming after me until I blocked him on all fronts. He faded into the darkness, and that was it. The next man was married and constantly fighting with his wife. Whenever he pursued me vigorously, it meant he’d had a fight with her. He’d be hot on my heels one day and then disappear for weeks or even months. I secretly enjoyed it when he came back because he brought gifts and sometimes money, only to get a “no” from me.

Eventually, he left one day and never returned. Maybe he and his wife found happiness. God bless their marriage.

I was lonely, and loneliness was me until Fred pulled up next to me. He took my name and number and started calling me. A few weeks later, I was in love.

I’m easy like Sunday morning when I find the one my soul connects with. Fred made it easy. From opening doors for me to taking me to meet his family, he was intentional about me. However, he never said the words, “I love you” or “Be my girlfriend.” When I asked about it, he said, “I want you to know me very well so we both know what we’re settling for.”

A few weeks after Fred, Quansah came along. Our meeting was accidental. I’d gone out with a friend, and my friend met someone who was with Quansah. A week after that encounter, I received a call from him. I agreed to a date, and we met.

He’s a lawyer practising in Denmark. He had come to Ghana on holiday and met me. “I think you’re my missing rib, and nothing will push me away unless you’re leaving with me,” he told me. I laughed—a girlish kind of laughter. I told him I was engaged. He said he wouldn’t believe it because he didn’t see a ring on my finger.

We talk. He’s smart. He knows the law but doesn’t seem to understand the law that says a woman’s “no” means no. He’s gotten me to a place where I think of him, where I compare him to Fred and weigh their advantages and disadvantages. “Fred will propose when he’s ready; I just have to give him time,” I tell myself. “Quansah is here for the taking, so maybe I should take him and go.”

That Is The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Done In The Name Of Love

Fred was the love of my life until I met the love of my life in Quansah, too. The two alternate in my mind. I feel guilty when I think of one more than the other, so I try to juggle between them. I want Fred to win, but Quansah always seems to come out on top. I asked for time. Quansah said he only had a month. If after a month I don’t hear anything from Fred, would it be safe for me to choose Quansah, even though Fred is the one I fell in love with first?

I wish I didn’t have a choice, but look at me now—spoiled for choice and still unable to decide.

—Naana

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