Four years ago, after seven months of marriage, my husband had an accident and ended up in a wheelchair. He had a spinal cord injury that also affected his sexual ability. He can’t do anything even on a good day when he experiences a flash of erection. His family were very active in his life during the first year of the accident but recently, they are nowhere to be found.
I do everything to care for a husband who is stuck in a wheelchair and only sees the sun when he’s being wheeled around. There’s a house help. But she doesn’t live in. Life has been very stressful and the fact that I didn’t have time to enjoy my marriage always makes me sad. “For better for worse” but the worse came too soon, right at the sunrise of our marriage.
I missed my period last month. The man I’m seeing isn’t running away from the pregnancy but the problem is how to inform my husband that I’m pregnant. Yes, it was unplanned but now that it’s here, I can’t get rid of it when I don’t have any hope for a child with my husband. It’s a dicey and difficult situation I find myself in. How do I tell him? How do I make it easier for him, looking at his situation?
I know I’ve broken part of the vows I took but please be gentle on me. We take such vows with the hope that things wouldn’t be as bad as I find myself in but here I am, with a husband whose family has abandoned on me and who can’t do anything until he’s pushed around. I’m sorry. Deeply sorry but I’m ready to own up to my sins and hope it doesn’t lead to a divorce.
— Jenny
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Jenny, go easy on yourself OK! Whoever judges you has actually lost touch with reality. That being said, talk to your husband about it, and possibly involve your parents. You’re likely going to get a divorce from him. Whichever way, be strong and surge on. Ask for forgiveness from God and from your husband as well. You did what most rational humans will do. Let God be the judge.
I think you should have had a discussion with your husband about children before having that affair.
Nevertheless, it’s not too late to come clean. I think he deserves to know the truth.
The earlier thr better, is that man not coming back to claim the child in the near future even if your husband accept the pregnancy after informing him?
I agree.
I don’t believe I’m saying this, but perhaps the best way out, if it’s not too late, is to get rid of the pregnancy, and start from scratch. If you continue with the current situation, it could kill your husband, you will never be happy going forward, and that your sexual partner will definitely leave you. You have been dealt a difficult hand by life, but suffering is part of life. If you handle it well, one day you’ll be able to look yourself in the mirror. What if what happened to your husband happened to you instead? How would you like to be treated? Always ask yourself that question. God bless.
What makes this wrong is that you put the chart before the horse. If you were feeling pint-up and needed just sex, why did you engage in unorotected sex? Integraty requires that you speak to your husband and his family through your family about you desire to rescind your vows. Just move out of his house before the evil in you move you to poison him for any material possessions you can lay your filty heart and hands on.