He was financially supportive. I am not one to ask for much. I have been independent for as long as I can remember. However, I know that once in a while, even an independent woman needs to lean on someone for support. Nii was that person for me. Whenever I was stuck, all I had to was pick up my phone and dial his number. I didn’t need to give long explanations. Just a simple, “Babe, I’m down. Please can you help me with something?” He would say okay and then send it. It’s one of the reasons I love him so much. His kindness and ability to provide when I need a hand.

Things were alright for us until his company got banned from operating six months ago. He has not gotten another job yet. I know he is out there trying everything possible to get another job. So I have been encouraging him not to give up. This is a man who could do anything for me when he had a job so I felt it was my turn to be his rock. When he comes over to my place, I take care of his needs. If he got sick, I took care of the hospital bills. That’s as far as he allows me to go for him.

When he is not with me, he manages. He has some savings he has been relying on. That aside, he has a small business that earns him something little. His brother also supports him from time to time. When I go over to his place and try to spend my money on him, he refuses. That’s fine with me. I know he knows that I can’t afford to spend so much of my money.

I am currently in my final year at the university. It’s a struggle to support myself alone as it is. I take care of my daughter too. I had her before I met Nii. Because my baby daddy and I broke up, he left her for me to take care of. So, I am a twenty-four-year-old single mum who is also a student. Although I have never troubled Nii to provide for my daughter’s needs, the financial support he used to give me when he had a job went a long way to help me. Now that he is unable to do it anymore, I am struggling.

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I love him. I know he loves me too. However, things are hard for me right now. I am crushing under the weight of my school expenses and my baby’s expenses. The money I earn from work is not so much. So it meant so much to me when he was supporting me.

Currently, I don’t feel his energy as a man in my life. I’m carrying it all alone. I know I am not his responsibility just because we are dating. But once in a while when I am broke, it would be good to turn to my man for help. Now, I can’t do that and it makes me a little sad. I feel bad that I feel this way but this is my reality. I’m a woman who needs to be supported by her man every once in a while because of my many burdens.

I know Nii would have continued to be my support if he could. That’s why I feel guilty whenever I am unhappy that I can’t ask him for help. I’m trying to be a supportive girlfriend at this point that he needs me. That’s why I am here. How do I do it? How to fully be there for him while his going through this difficult time. I want him to lean on me without me cracking under the pressures of my responsibilities. Any counsel for me?

— Lottie

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