I went to Erica’s place and saw the seat of the WC turned up. It was a sign that a man had visited her place but when I asked about it she told me it was not the case. She swore heaven and earth that no man had been around, rather, she cleaned the place and forgot to put it down. The WC didn’t look clean but to avoid further misunderstanding, I decided to drop the accusation. Days later she called to ask if I suspected her of cheating on me.

I had dropped the issue so the fact that she was bringing it up again meant something was going on. We discussed the issue once more and she promised she would never cheat on me. We hugged. We kissed but my mind couldn’t rest. There was something she was trying hard to make me forget. I opened my eyes and started looking around for signs. Weeks later, there was nothing.

My spirit was stirred up. My mind couldn’t sit still. Even when she said goodnight, I didn’t believe she was going to sleep. When I called in the night and she didn’t pick up, I felt something was going on. To lay my mind to rest and still my heart, I spoke to Cee, a boy who lived across the same street my girlfriend was living in. An eighteen-year-old boy who knew what to say and how to interpret what he saw.

I told him, “Keep an eye on her. Watch who comes in and who goes out. Make sure you see everything and report the same.”

A week later when I saw Cee, he said no one came in and no one went out. I asked him to keep checking. The next time when we talked, he talked about a guy with a red car coming to the house and leaving later in the night. I asked him the make of the car. The brand name and car number. He didn’t have any information. I went straight to Erica to ask questions; “Is he the one using the red car? I mean your new boyfriend.”

She looked confused. “A red car? From where? I don’t know anyone who uses a red car.” She asked for my source of information. Of course, I didn’t give her. We argued it out for a week. We broke up, we came back, we fought about it again until I decided I’d do further investigation.

I told the Cee, “Get the car number. Look at the one driving it, the colour of his shirt and everything that will make it easy.” He told me, “It would be easier if I had a phone. I’ll just take a photo or call you to come and see it yourself.”

I gave him my number, gave him money and promised him a phone the next time I see him.

The relationship was bruised. We were always angry at each other. There was no fun, no trust and no love. I was dying to catch her red-handed. She was also doing everything to prove she was innocent.

One evening, Cee called. He was panting, “The red car man is here. He just entered.” I screamed, “Take a photo. Stand behind the wall and take a photo and send it to me right now.” He told me, “It will be better if you come and see it yourself ooo. I’m using my friend’s phone. The camera doesn’t work. Just run and come.”

From my place to my girlfriend’s place would take like an hour, that’s if traffic was less. I started dressing up. While dressing up I called her, “Erica, are you home?” She answered, “I just stepped out. I’m buying some food for the evening.”

She was calm as if nothing was happening. Immediately I sat in the car, Cee called. “He’s driving out now. When you come you may not see him but I’ve written the car number down.”

Again, we fought about the red car. She said she didn’t know the number and I was the one inventing troubles. She even told me in plain language that if I didn’t want the relationship again, I should tell her to back out and stop accusing her.

I got Cee a new phone and congratulated him on his new role in investigative journalism. He jumped up and down and screamed in jubilation. He thanked me for the phone and promised I would see a result soon.

That was the last time I saw or heard from Cee. No one in the community knew his whereabouts until I met his parents who told me he had travelled to their hometown, where he came from.

He didn’t call me with his new line for me to even know his number. When I asked his parents they told me they had no idea their son used a phone. While talking to them, another boy walked in. He was just around Cee’s age. Cee’s mother threw the question at him, “Was your brother using a phone that we didn’t know?” The guy answered, “He got a new phone not too long ago but he sold it. He used the money to travel.”

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It started dawning on me that everything Cee told me was a lie, something he did just to get me to buy him a phone. I was so embarrassed I couldn’t tell his parents the reason I was looking for him.

I went to see Erica from there. We talked nicely but I could see she wasn’t happy about something. I told her, “If I’m the reason for your unhappiness, please forgive me. I’ve been hard on you for some time now, forgive me. It won’t happen again.”

It Will Be Difficult For Me To Commit To One Person

She nodded but a week later, she sent a text, “What are we doing if you can’t trust me? Maybe you want to leave but don’t know how. Let me make it easy for you. Let’s quit. Let’s end it here so you can get someone else you can trust.”

After that message, nothing I did made sense. My apologies, the “I won’t do it ever again,” the give me a last chance, all hit a rock. She left me but I didn’t blame her. I couldn’t even blame Cee. I was the only one to be blamed. Currently, I’m learning to tame my insecurities, to call a spade a spade and also allow a spoon to be a spoon.

—Olive 

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