I had to move to another town for work. My first few months there were dry because I was taking my time to survey the town to find my place in it. It took a while but I finally settled in and started making friends. Eddy was one of the people I easily made friends with. He was the one who saw me first and approached me.

He said, “I have been seeing you around ever since you moved to this neighbourhood. I want you to know that I admire you a great deal. You are nice.” I gave him my attention and our friendship was planted on that day. And as the days went by, it bloomed into something beautiful and enviable.

By the time Eddy told me he was in love with me, I too had fallen deeply in love with him. We didn’t waste time in moving our relationship from a platonic level to a romantic one. I thought I knew all there was to know about him but I turned out to be wrong. He only told me everything about himself when we became an official couple.

He was married. That’s what he waited until we started dating to tell me. “Before you think any less of me, understand that my wife and I have not been together for the past five years. Unfortunately, we are not officially divorced. We have only separated for now. So even though we have practically broken up, we are still married, technically,” he explained. He saw my disappointed look and assured me that he would never take his wife back.

I wasn’t there when things turned sour between them, but based on everything he told me, she treated him badly. The look of pain on his face when he talked about her was enough to convince me that he sure wouldn’t go back to someone who left so many wounds in his heart. He said he lost everything because of her.

After their separation, his wife relocated to their hometown, and was living with his in-laws. As for their apartment, he could not afford to renew the rent so they threw him out. He had to be sleeping in his office sometimes. He did not always have food to eat. There were days he went to sleep without dinner.

Are you wondering what he does with his salary? I will tell you. He works in the government sector so his salary is not so terrible. What he officially makes at the end of each month should earn him a decent living. However, his responsibilities have swallowed him up. He is the only one who has something going for him in his family. This means everyone turns to him to solve problems involving money. He pays his cousins’ school fees when they come calling.

He has registered for five different insurance plans that he pays from this same salary. He is also providing for the needs of his wife’s child whom she came into the marriage with. By the time he finishes taking care of everyone, he barely has anything left for himself.

For this reason, I started supporting him financially. I also fed him and accommodated him. I didn’t do any of these things in hopes of getting married to him. These are things I would do for any other person so I gave everything I gave to him freely.

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Now the problem is my boyfriend’s parents. They don’t agree that Eddy should divorce his wife. They’ve gone ahead to reunite them. His wife is planning to move back to the city so they can live together again. She doesn’t know that he doesn’t have a place of his own.

Although he is supposed to be working things out with his wife, he said I have done a lot for him so he cannot be ungrateful to me. We were planning to get married before his marital problems were resolved. He said she is ten years older than him and that contributed to a major part of their problem. That’s why he doesn’t want me to leave him.

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His wife is supposed to be in town next week. Yet he says he will die if I pull the plug on our relationship. I don’t know what I am supposed to do. I am not the kind of woman who can share her man with another woman. So if his wife is actively back in his life then I have to let go, even though we love each other.

I have come to terms with the fact that we cannot continue to be together despite our feelings for each other. I want to let go so I can have peace in my life. Eddy is fighting me on it. He keeps telling me he doesn’t want his wife anymore. He says I am the one he wants. He says he will not accept a breakup. I am tired of the stress, and the drama this whole thing has started brewing. What do I do to get out of this situation?

–Dela

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