Her mom came knocking early in the morning one day when I was still in bed. It was a Saturday. My intention was to remain in bed until late morning but she came knocking aggressively as if she was going after someone who owes her money. When I saw her in front of my door, my heart lost several beats. I asked, “Mom is there any problem?” She looked away while telling me, “There’s but when problems come we don’t use a knife to cut it to pieces. We solve it with words and through dialogue.”

Two things came to mind immediately. “It’s Erica pregnant and she didn’t tell me about it but told her mom? That’s not possible. I was with her last night. Or when she left here, she didn’t go home or something worse?” I was thinking about these while ushering my girlfriend’s mother into my room for the first time since I started dating her daughter three years ago.

Three years ago, it was a dream come true when Erica accepted my proposal. I pursued her for months before she would even look my way. At first, she said she had a boyfriend. Later she said she was lying. And then she told me to give her some time to study me. I was going to see her often in her house. She introduced me to her mom as a friend and that introduction was never updated when she accepted my proposal. Her mom had to figure out the rest of the story.

We became Siamese twins when our love began. There was no me without her and sometimes her mom would call and ask if I knew where she was. She was always with me. She’s her mother’s only daughter and only child so she was very particular about her. She would tell me, “She’s all I have. If you break her you break me so be careful with her.”

One day Erica told me about a man in the shadow. She said he was old and was living abroad. He was looking for a wife and her mom told her about it. I asked her, “Do you like him?” She answered, “How can I like someone I don’t know? I don’t like him.” I asked if her mom was forcing her to like the man and she said, “No, she only told me about it.”

By then I had suggested marriage to her and she had told me she would not marry until she gets a job which I thought was a good idea. I wanted to marry her so I started helping her to get a job. I had her CV so any job I saw online that fit her qualifications, I applied on her behalf and later told her. She had some interviews but nothing came out of it.

I won’t say I was taking care of her but I helped in whichever way I could. If she told me she needed money, I gave it to her. When she told me she needed something I could afford, I bought it for her. The things we do for love. Even when it’s hard, if love is involved, you get it for her to score emotional points.

But the man in the shadow never left the conversation. One day she told me she spoke to him on the phone. Another time she told me they had a video call. On Christmas day she told me the man sent Christmas gift. Money and other items for her and for her mom. Another time she told me the man said he would help process her papers so she could travel abroad.

She told me all this with a grin as if to say, the man didn’t know what he was saying or she didn’t believe the man and the things he said. And because she was telling me everything, I felt she didn’t like the man and she was letting me know. A friend told me something one day. He said, “By all means water would go through the crack. All it takes is time.”

She changed. She wasn’t calling me like she used to. She wasn’t coming around like she used to. I applied a job for her and she had an interview but she didn’t attend. Her excuse was, “I don’t like what they do. It sounds stressful.”

One day I went to her place to look for her and her mom told me she wasn’t there. Just when I was about to turn away and leave, I saw her coming from the room. Her mom said, “Oh you’re inside the room? I thought you went out ooo.”

It clicked that all was not well. That day I asked questions. I brought the changes I’d seen in her into the conversation. I asked, “It’s everything alright?” She told me, “All is well so stop worrying your head.”

My gut was telling me something was wrong, yet I gave myself permission to trust her. After all, love is trust. If you don’t have it, you have no reason to go into a relationship.

So that morning when her mom came knocking on my door, of all the things I thought were wrong, I didn’t think the man was part of the problem. She sat down and looked around my room and told me, “I’m here because of Erica. We are breaking up whatever existed between you two. She respects you a lot that’s why she’s not here so I’m here to do it on her behalf. It’s not your fault but there comes a time in life when people have to decide what’s good for them. We have decided  what’s good for us and it’s the reason I’m here.”

The man’s issue came into my head. I asked her, “Is it about the man abroad?” She answered, “There’s no man abroad. It’s a decision we think it’s good for us.”

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She didn’t tell me the reason and also asked me not to call Erica to ask any questions because she was confused at the moment. The first thing I did when she left was to call Erica. She didn’t pick up. I called again and her phone was off. I was restless. I was shaking. I was asking myself questions. I’d built my world around her and all was coming down. I was breaking apart.

Three days later, her phone was still off so I decided to go to their house to find out what was going on. There was a car parked in front of the house. It looked like something was happening in the house because it looked busy. Her mom came out and immediately she saw me she frowned. She asked, “What are you doing here? After everything I told you? What are you here for? Please leave, you can come another day.”

I hang around the area to see what was happening. Later, Erica came out with a man. Her mom followed. Erica went to sit in the car with the man and the man drove away while her mom was waving at them. I wanted her to see me so I stood by the roadside, her side of the road. Immediately she set her eyes on me she looked away. I kept looking at the car until it disappeared from view.

I knew I’d lost so I accepted my defeat gracefully and decided not to bother her again. Weeks later, I think, I had a call from a line I didn’t know. It was her. I asked, “So what can I do for you?” She did hmmm and started talking. She said, “I think you need an explanation that’s why….”

I cut the call. At that moment I didn’t need any explanation. I’d seen what there was to see and had accepted my fate. I didn’t need to hear her voice to reset my heart to the hurtful days. She kept calling. One day I heard a knock on my door. I didn’t know who it was but I figured it could be her so I didn’t open up until the sound of the knocking faded and she left.

We Agreed To Be Friends With Benefit | Silent Beads

Her guilt was eating her up and she was looking for an escape. The least I could do to pay her back was to allow her guilt to eat her up.

The man is gone. She is still here looking for a job. I’m not privy to what goes on in her life. I try not to think about her but once in a while she would send a message, “Why don’t you listen to me, at least?” She had sent about ten voice notes to my WhatsApp. I’ve not listened to any of them. I haven’t even bothered to open the message. I want to believe I’m healed but I’m giving it some time—A day at a time.

—Nana

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