It all started at level hundred in the university when I met Judy at Valentine’s day program and we became friends. After a few weeks of friendship, I found myself caught up in her charm. We spent so much time together that it didn’t take long for us to start dating. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. In our conversations, she told me, “I love the kind of person you are, but my family will never accept you.” “Why won’t they?” I asked her. She said; “In my family, girls are only allowed to marry rich men. My elder sister’s bride price is what built the three-Storey-building we are currently living in. Do you think you can afford that kind of money if you pursue your dream of becoming an evangelist?” I shook my head and asked, “So what do you suggest I do? Because being an evangelist is all I have ever wanted.” Judy looked at me and said, “I have seen you play football, and you are good. Pursue that.” 

I wanted to make Judy happy so I abandoned my dream of serving God and worked toward becoming a professional footballer instead. Through that, I ended up living a life that I am not proud of. She would bring alcohol to my hostel and we would get drunk and have shuperu throughout the day. I cared so much for her so I was determined to do anything to make it work although I knew she was dating someone else on the side. I was very young and naïve so believed that I could be the last man standing.

One day I was there when she came to tell me, “I am pregnant, and it’s yours.” Initially, I thought she was pulling a prank on me but I realized she was serious. It was difficult for me to believe the baby was mine because I knew she was seeing other men and we always used protection when we made love. However, there is a saying that women always know the paternity of their children so I accepted the pregnancy. I went home to inform my mother about the mess I had made out of my life. She was angry that at the age of nineteen I was already an expectant father, but she was still a mother so she decided to help me. She invited Judy home and told her she was willing to do everything to make sure our future was not jeopardized.  

Soon after that, Judy’s family found out about the pregnancy. I was with her in her hostel one day when they showed up and disgraced me all over campus. As if that was not enough, they dragged me to their house and further embarrassed me. I loved Judy so I didn’t mind being maltreated by her family. I was still determined to stand by her through everything. I spent all the money I had just to make her happy and comfortable. My mother also sent money periodically to support her. Her pregnancy was not easy at all. I always had to leave campus and go to town to buy her chicken wings. I became her slave. She just had to snap her fingers and I’d be ready to carry out whatever she desired. Through all this, Judy understood me and appreciated everything I did for her. Her family on the other hand just wouldn’t let me be. They called me every day to insult me, especially her mother and grandmother. 

During vacation, my family and I went to Judy’s house to meet with her family to decide on what should be done. It was a long meeting with insults as a side attraction. They even insulted my mother in the process. Her uncle then asked me, “Young man, what do you have to say for yourself?” I looked him straight in the face like a man and said, “I want to marry Judy and take care of our child.” Her mother jumped in before I could finish my sentence, “You, marry my daughter? You must be joking. Look at Judy and ask yourself if she is in your league. It will be over my dead body before anyone in this family allows you to marry my child. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Because you don’t seem to know that you look like ‘amane’ (herrings).” I was speechless after her response to my proposal. I left that house feeling less than human. I was completely crushed.  

When school resumed, Judy came to tell me that she did not want me in her life anymore. I begged her not to cut me off but she did. When she finally delivered, I was not allowed to see the child. I had to beg Judy to let me see the child in the hospital just for a few minutes in the absence of her family. Afterwards, I received a call from her mother, “Vincent, forget that you have a child anywhere. This child is ours and we will take care of him without your help.” I was young and powerless so I could not do anything. My mother on the other hand went to the family to perform the naming ceremony and every other needful thing. 

After that, I was only able to send money from time to time. My mother also sent money, clothes, and other things to them whenever she could, but nothing was enough for that family. They continued to insult me, even on my social media platforms. There was a time Judy sent me a photo of the child and I posted it on my Facebook account. Come and see how these people came to insult me under the post. 

Throughout our stay at the university, I did everything to please Judy but she was still not willing to give me a chance to be with her so I decided to move on. That was when I met Lillian. At that time my world had crumbled and I was miserable, but Lillian brought light back into my life. She convinced me to go back to pursue my dream of becoming an evangelist. She was a virgin and a church girl who placed God first in everything she did. I told her of my past and she was ready to help me through a repentance process and get me back on track. Honestly, joy was brought back into my life but when everything began to work for me, Judy came back and asked me to come and ask for her hand in marriage again. She said she still loved me so I should forget about Lillian and choose her. 

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At this point, I was a happy man and didn’t want anything or anyone to destroy it but Judy was not willing to allow me to be. After school, she continued to do everything to frustrate my life and destroy my relationship with Lillian but I didn’t allow her to win. My mother and I continued to give her and her family the money they needed for child support but they still refused to allow me to go anywhere close to the child.

Lillian and I dated for three years and then went to different countries to preach the word of God for two years. When we returned in 2020, we got married, and a few months ago we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Sadly, Judy lost her mother and has now been pressuring me to come and see the child but I have also lost interest in them. My family and I continue to support Judy and the child every month. Eventually, I would have tried to bring the child close to me but due to Judy’s way of life, my wife doesn’t want her and the child near us. I owe everything I am to my wife and I love her very much so I will do anything to make her happy. Because of that, I will continue to send Judy money for the child but I won’t let them near my family. I can’t do much but wish Judy all the best in her life. Hopefully, someday my child and I will be united.  

— Vincent

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