Kwame is a good man without any doubt. He has been there for me in the past year and a few months we’ve been together. He made me start a personal development journey that changed my life for good. This is one of the reasons I am certain he loves me with no iota of doubt.

Another reason I am confident in his love is that he doesn’t hide me from anyone. Right from the beginning of the relationship, he introduced me to his parents, his boss, friends, and important people in his life. He literally shows me off whenever we are in public. I don’t know much about life but I know that only a man who is genuinely in love would announce his woman to his world.

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Now, before I met him I was green. I had vowed never to get intimate with anyone outside the confines of marriage. I told God that the man who breaks my virginity is the one I would marry. However, I broke that vow eight months into the relationship. I ended up getting intimate with Kwame.

We both hadn’t done it before so we didn’t know what we were doing. We did it only once but I got pregnant. If we had kept it his parents would have been happy. Nonetheless, it wasn’t about them. It was about us. We were not ready for parenthood. It was a mutual decision we took to terminate the pregnancy.

A few months ago he invited me over for his graduation. During my stay, he received a call from his boss to go do some club work. He works in IT.

They went to do the job during the Christmas holidays. According to him, “When we finished our installations at the club, Ato said we should join the Christmas fun before we go home.” Ato is one of his work colleagues. There were three of them who worked at the club that day.

He said they got themselves. He didn’t know they were alcoholics until he found himself getting tipsy. “Before I knew it, we were grinding some ladies.”

He was not in control of himself. So he kept obliging to do things. Even when the lady he danced with seduced him, he couldn’t resist her. “She was the one who put it in. She was the one who did the work. It was over in a few minutes.” He didn’t even know her name.

A few minutes after that incident, the lady reached out to him and said, “I am pregnant, and it’s yours.” One sentence, but it was enough to turn everyone’s world upside down.

My man recounted, “I told her to get rid of it because it was a one-night stand but she refused and reported it to her mom. Now her mother is insisting that I marry her daughter.” He said he could never bring himself to marry her.

It took him a while before he came clean. Before that, he withdrew from me and started acting cold. I became confused and started questioning his attitude. When I confided in my pastor, he said Kwame was under a spiritual spell. “It appears there’s another woman in the picture but it’s not by his will. He is your God-ordained husband but they are trying to break you apart.”

I was doubting my pastor until Kwame finally told me about the other lady and her pregnancy. So I knew my pastor was not wrong. This means he is also not wrong about the fact that Kwame is the man God has ordained for me to marry.

Right now, my man says he doesn’t want to marry the lady but her mother is insisting. I advised him to take responsibility for the pregnancy now and run a DNA test later to confirm that he is indeed the father. “As for marriage, don’t do it. She did all this to trap you into marriage so don’t do it.”

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I don’t know if he will listen to me. His parents have taken sides with the lady’s mother. They are saying he should marry her because of the way the lady’s family is threatening him.

It doesn’t even make sense. There’s nothing legal about marrying someone just because you got them pregnant. He didn’t force the lady. She was the one who even initiated everything. I am not even sure that pregnancy belongs to him.

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What can I do to help him out of this? I do not want to lose my man to an easy woman because he made a stupid mistake.

I know someone will tell me there are better men out there. Yes, I know there are. But I was not made or designed for them. I was meant to be with Kwame. I want to marry my God-ordained husband. How do we make it out of this mess?

—Josephine 

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