When he first approached me, I didn’t know what to expect from him. He said he wanted to be my friend. “Friendship? Sure, why not?” I said as I welcomed him into my life. If someone had told me at those early stages how much he would come to mean to me today, I wouldn’t have believed it. He was a good friend to me. And I was so sure that our relationship would always be platonic.
One thing about us humans is that the more we spend time with someone, the easier it would be to grow fond of them. Of course, I didn’t see it coming. It hit me like lightning. Before I knew it, I was smiling fondly at the thought of Ernest. I would see him and my heart would flutter in my chest. Why didn’t anyone tell me hearts do not only beat but they have little wings?
He was the kind of person I could easily count on. Unless I didn’t sneeze, Ernest would be standing there with a tissue and a very loud, “Bless you.” He was kind too. No, I am not talking about generosity even though he is generous. I am talking about kindness. He protects my feelings even from himself.
Tell me, how could I not fall head over heels in love with him? The good news is, it wasn’t one-sided. He was also in love with me. I was so happy when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I would have said yes immediately but I was concerned about intimacy issues.
I have a rule not to have shuperu with any man I am not married to. That was the reason I was single in the first place. So before I let him know how I felt about him I told him, “I want to wait until marriage before we get intimate. Is that okay with you?” Many men have walked away every time I brought up the subject of abstinence, so I was prepared for Ernest to do the same. However, he surprised me.
His answer was, “I don’t think you understand me when I say I want to be with you. I am looking at us in the long term so I will wait till you are ready.” I said yes to his proposal there then. It’s been four years since that memorable day and we are even more in love than we were when we started.
We’ve been making preparations to get married but we are taking things very slowly. The official introductions have been made already. My family and his family have met and are waiting for us to be ready for things to be official.
We don’t want to incur debts so we are buying the things on the list one by one as we also save toward the ceremony. We are happy as we wait. I’ll do anything to make him happy, he knows it. I also know that my happiness matters to him. I always feel so blessed to have him as my man.
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In our third year together, we decided to introduce intimacy into the relationship. We’ve only done it five times so far. My experience with the whole thing is not what I expected it to be. I’m always only wet for a few minutes. After that, I get so dry. I have read enough to know it’s not normal to feel that way.
I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It
It isn’t that I don’t love him or that I am not attracted to him. I am crazy about him. When he is not with me and I think about all the right things he does, I get turned on. But the moment we are together, I would dry up and feel pain. By the time we are done, I am all bruised up. I know the sex hurts because I am always dry.
Ernest has been patient with me but I believe his patience is running thin. He tells me I have a problem so we should work on it. I know he is right. The problem is, I don’t know what to do to get the help I need. I am new to this whole Shuperu thing so I don’t know how to deal with this. Please, what do I do to remain in the mood throughout the act? Don’t tell me I don’t love Ernest enough. Lord knows I love him so much.
—Joelyn
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My sister there is a solution to every problem. Step one avoid using scented soaps ,it causes the vagina to dry up easily. Two you can apply virgin coconut oil in your vagina. It has no negative effect ,its keeps the place smelling good and even moisturised. Apply it twice a day I.e morning and evening and if possible before sex. 3 you have to eat a lot of avocado🥑 it’s rich in vitamin E,C,K, niacin etc. There is also the use of lubricants which can be found in the pharmacy. If possible see a genealogist to help you out. Good luck 🤞
I suffered same for years and it gave me a lot of worries each time I think about it until I started using multivitamins that has vitamins D,K,biotin etc. Within a month, I started having very high libido and very horny towards my husband. It was like a dream after almost 20 years of marriage and I’m just enjoying sex like I was a young girl.
@Joelyn,I think your guy has alot of work to do, don’t blame yourself, he has to read alot about intimacy before you get married if not you’ll never be satisfied sexually and you won’t even enjoy the act making you unhappy, so he has alot of work to do, instead of him telling you you have a problem and you should fix it,he should rather do better, I don’t think you’re the problem or you have a problem, he’s rather bad at intimacy, I know what am talking about, am talking from experience, he should rather do his homework and be on top of his game
She needs help and that’s it. She explained how much she gets in the feeling but after some minutes she’s all dried up though still in the mood.she only has to see a gynecologist. I dated a lady who was always dry no matter the time of foreplay and that has been her experience all through. After some medical prescriptions. She is like june-july, always wet.
Drink lots of water- aim for 2litres a day. The body only sends excess water to the ” less important ” body parts when there is enough for the important ones.
Don’t be anxious about this issue or any other performance related issue. Anxiety makes you tense and tension makes sexual function poor. Relax. Sex is an adventure. There will be days so awesome it’s awesome but there will be other days which aren’t so great. It s normal.
Hmmmmmmmmm! You could not wait to fulfil your promise, you have started having shuperu. Body no be firewood ooooooo. Follow @Maameafua advices
It’s a mindset problem. Work on your mind.
Eiii!! It’s like this shuperu before marriage is very normal in Ghana. Like it’s normal for unmarried people to do shuperu