It started from our blender. It got spoilt and he wasn’t ready to replace it. Out of frustration, I went to the market and bought a new one that never worked. When I sent it back for my money, my husband told me there was a lady in her office who imported foreign kitchen wares at great prices. He took my money to buy the blender for me but the blender never came. Two months later we were still fighting over a blender I’d paid for.

He told me, “Is it compulsory to be using a blender? Why are you even a woman? Didn’t you learn anything from your mother?”

He didn’t give me my money. The blender didn’t come until I raised money to buy a new one.

Today, what we are fighting about isn’t the blender but the gas cooker. I bought it when I had my first job. It was three years old when I got married. It went through several repairs until it got to a point where no repairs could solve the situation. We had to buy a new one. It was always one excuse or the other from my husband. Because of what happened to my blender money, I advised myself. I can pay half of the money to buy the cooker but he wants me to give him the money so he adds to it.

I said, “No problem, let’s go to the shop together. When we buy it, I’ll give you my part so you add it to yours and pay.”

At first, he agreed but a week later when I brought it up, he told me I should give him my money or forget about the cooker. I didn’t want to but what’s marriage without trust? I gave half of the money to him.

Two months later, no gas cooker and no money. I don’t ask about my money. I ask him or remind him every day when he’s going to bring the cooker. Yesterday he told me the same thing he told me when I insisted on the blender

“Is it compulsory to use a cooker? Why are you even a woman? Didn’t you learn anything from your mother? What’s wrong if you cook from a coal pot?”

So I’m acting what’s wrong out to him. In the evening when he complains about food, I tell him the charcoal seller hasn’t come in one week and what we have is finished. Or it’s too late to start a fire or I’ll start the fire in the kitchen so the smoke will enter the hall to make him cough.

These should ordinarily push any reasonable man to do what’s right but not my husband. He’ll spend money on betting and later ask me to pray for him to win so he can afford to buy a gas cooker.

You Can’t Ask What A Woman Uses Her Money For | Chat & Chuckles Podcast | EP 3

This is what I’m going through in my marriage. Sisters, when dating a man, please ask him about betting even if you don’t see him doing it. I didn’t see him betting when we were dating but today, he’s a betting ambassador. I’ve learned. A betting man is never the man. He won’t buy the gas cooker and won’t give me my money but I know how to make him pay so he’ll pay.

— Sandy

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