He found me beautiful and wondered why people would hurt someone like me. Anytime I told him my problems in my relationships, he wondered, “What is wrong with him? How could a man decide to hurt someone like you?” I often told him, “You guys are like that. You pursue us with all your strength and make us feel like you can’t survive without us but once we accept to be with you, you treat us like you’re dying because of us. It’s in all of you men.” I knew Alex and I knew he wasn’t like that. He had a beautiful relationship going while I kept going in and out of relationships. I loved him because he was always there for me. 

His girlfriend travelled abroad. She went to study for her master’s degree. The day she stepped abroad, they started having issues. The girl won’t call and when he called she wouldn’t answer. Alex would run to me and complain bitterly about it; “We were fine just yesterday. How could she go cold just a day after?” I answered, “It might be the weather. You know it’s always cold out there.” Instead of helping him to heal, I was the one making fun of his situation. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know how to help a friend who was having relationship issues. I was meant to be the one with the issues and not the other way around. 

They broke up on Christmas day. Merry Christmas became mourning Christmas for him. The girl was blunt with him. She told him to move on because she had moved on long ago. That was too cold but it could be the weather. She was always living in the cold. I teased him. I asked him to be a man. “Men don’t cry remember? You move on and get another girl the next day.” It was cute the way he was mourning his dead relationship. No man has ever mourned a dead relationship with me. The men I had in my life were robots with machine hearts. Once the relationship loses its colour, they move on to the next blooming flower. Insects. That’s who they were.

I was with Alex, consoling him and laughing at him at the same time; “Don’t worry. She doesn’t deserve you. How could a woman hurt a man like you? It’s alright. Better days are coming with better women. You’ll be fine.” Another day I’ll tell him; “Broken heart looks good on you. See how you’re glowing.” While he was going through turbulence, I had something good going for me. That relationship was new so I understood why it looked like something good. I was with Alex one evening, watching movies together when he started getting touchy. I said, “Bestie, What up?” He looked at me with longing eyes. I got the message. That day it went down. I did it without any feelings attached. It was a favour I was doing him if that could help him heal. 

But it didn’t stop there. It continued. We were looking for a name for what we had going. I told him I couldn’t be his girlfriend because my emotions don’t support it. “We’ve been friends for so long that I can’t bring myself to be your girlfriend. The feeling is not there but if shuperu is what you want, I would gladly give it to you. You’re a friend. I’ll throw such things in your way because you deserve to be given what you want.” Officially, we became friends with benefit though we didn’t name it as such. He was free to get a girlfriend. I was free to grow the relationship I was in. When we meet and we desire to hit it, we’ll hit it, wipe our lips as if nothing has happened and move on.

We were good at that, we could be dressing up after shuperu while discussing our love lives. He would tell me about a girl he was eyeing. I would tell him the nonsense things my boy was doing. Our hearts were closed to each other so we could talk freely about our emotions without feeling like we were cheating on each other. We went on that road for three years. I changed boyfriends. He found Tilly and Rose within those years. Tilly didn’t work but Rose kept blossoming like every day was May. He told me how good Rose was. I remember one day while doing it, he called me Rose. Not once and not twice. I stopped him midway. I said, “Hey, look at me. How do I look? Bring your mind home. Who am I?” 

I knew he loved Rose and I knew it was going to work but I never thought it was going to end up in marriage so soon. I was with him one evening. He came to my place and usually when he comes to me in the evening, we end up spending the night together but that night, it felt like he wasn’t going to sleep over. Some things were off but I didn’t ask any questions. We did what we usually do and a few minutes later he was asking for another round. That was so unlike him but I watched him as he sprawled all over me taking what I could give. 

He started dressing up right after that. I asked where he was going and he said home. I asked if something was wrong and he answered, “I don’t know how to tell you this but we are getting married next month. Rose and I. I’ve been struggling to tell you because I didn’t know how you would take it.” 

READ ALSO: 5 Years Of Marriage, No Child But He Says ‘Shuperu’ Is A Waste Of Energy

I asked, “When did you decide that and why have you kept me in the dark for this long?” He couldn’t answer. He said he was sorry that he couldn’t tell me earlier. And then added, “I don’t think we can continue doing this. I’m getting married and it wouldn’t be fair for us to continue doing this. You know marriage is a serious thing.” “Wow,” I responded. I couldn’t say another word after the wow. I watched him as he dressed up. When he was done, he opened the door and told me he was leaving. I nodded and then he walked away.

I felt used, I felt disrespected, I felt lied to. Everything felt wrong. “He even had the gut to have the last supper with me without me knowing it was the last supper.” I started getting angry. I wrote him a long text message insulting him but I couldn’t press send. I will write a long one and later press delete. Finally, I wrote, “Congratulations” and sent it to him. I blocked his line and blocked every digital access I had with him. I didn’t even know why I was hurting. I didn’t love him in that sense but I felt we’ve been through a lot together so I should have played a part in a decision like that. That was why I was hurting. I didn’t hear from him again. I even forgot the date he was getting married. 

Weeks ago a strange line called and it was him. He’s now married so he’s coming to ask me silly questions. He realized I’d blocked him but he never made any attempt to even come around my place to ask why. After marriage, he was on the phone asking me silly questions. I cut the line and blocked that one too. One Saturday he came home. He wanted in but I kept him out of my door. I asked why he was there and he said, “I’d come to apologize. There are so many things I want to say or do right now. I miss you and I’m dying to have you in my life again.”

It’s My Brother Who Helps My Husband To Cheat On Me–Beads Media 

I shut my door in his face and told him to say that to his new life. He hasn’t stopped coming around. Somehow, he believes I’ll cave in and accept his apology. I’m not that kind of girl. I move on and don’t look back so I told him to leave me alone or I’ll tell his wife everything. He thinks I can’t do that so he keeps coming. Currently, I don’t know how to keep him away but I’m thinking through things. One day I will visit him in his own house and tell his wife, “I came to tell you something.” I won’t say anything afterwards and just walk away. That should scare him enough to leave me alone. If he continues after that, he would have himself to blame 

–Juuju   

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