One morning, I got a message notification from my messenger. The person who sent the message wasn’t my friend but his name looked familiar. So I replied and we got talking. He introduced himself to me and I realized that his niece is my friend. This made me more welcoming toward him. Later, he sent me a friend request on Facebook, and our conversations got more interesting from there.

This happened during the Covid-19 lockdown in Nigeria so his company kept me distracted from the troubles of the pandemic. He knew how to keep things fresh and fun. I always smiled or laughed when I received his texts or phone calls. I hadn’t seen him in person but he looked good in his photos. He also sounded smart and we held intelligent conversations.

About a week into our first conversation, he proposed a relationship to me. I answered, “We don’t even know each other. I only know you’re related to my friend. Besides, we’ve only been talking for a week.” He had something more convincing to say; “We don’t need to know everything about each other to be in a relationship. We can start and see how things play out.” “But there is no love to even start with,” I protested.

As we know, men are usually persistent when it comes to these things. He asked me to take some time to think about it. I wasn’t sure about jumping into a relationship with an internet guy. However, my best friend encouraged me to give it a try. I was afraid because I had never tried online dating. There was also a long distance between us.

I gave it all a careful thought and decided to give him a chance. I figured he’d soon get tired of texting me and calling, and we would just drift apart. That was what I was counting on but the reality was different. I ended up falling in love with him. I was so surprised when it happened but I was also very happy.

We always planned on meeting, just that his work didn’t permit him to make the trip to my end. It was difficult to keep things going but our daily conversations kept us going. We had our fair share of couple fights, but we always made up. One thing that stood out for me was that no matter who was at fault, we wouldn’t sleep without resolving our problems. In a relationship like this, what could possibly go wrong? I will tell you.

Somewhere in 2021, he had an emergency that brought him to my town. I didn’t even know he was coming until he arrived. Even when he called to tell me he was around, I didn’t believe it. It wasn’t until he mentioned the place we should meet at, that I started bouncing with excitement. “Fantastic!” I thought, “This is a great way to finally meet my online boo.”

I got to our rendezvous point, and everything I thought I felt for him died that instant. It was exactly the case of “what I ordered” versus “what I got”. His aura alone was a complete turn-off. He definitely wasn’t the kind of man I would date if he had asked me out in person. It was that bad but I decided to give it time.

We had an open communication policy so I even told him that I was losing our spark. In an attempt to make things better, he said, “Let’s assume this the start of our relationship. We will get to know each other properly from here.” I agreed and carried on. However, every time I saw him, he would do something to push me further.

The problem is not his physique, far from that. He is handsome and dark, just the way I love my men. It is his composure that put me off. He walks without any proper coordination. Apart from that, we would be in public and he would start scratching his genitals. I always cringed whenever this happened.

I asked myself how I ended up with someone like him. The answer I believe is, I created an illusion in my head of what I wanted in a man and imagined him to be it. Despite all this, I was determined to see this through. But the guy just couldn’t help himself. He kept doing new things to make himself worse.

READ ALSO: I Don’t Want To Fight For Love Anymore

The deal breaker for me was when we were walking together and I held his hand. He asked me to stop. I asked why and he answered, “I have an erection.” I was appalled. All I did was hold his hand while we were taking a walk along the road. What would he have done if we were in an enclosed area or in bed? I felt so embarrassed having to wait until his yinky lowered its head for us to continue our stroll.

After everything I saw, I decided that I cannot marry a man like Ife. So I started looking for a way out of the relationship. Luckily, he brought himself a few days after that incident. He asked me to visit him in his family house and that didn’t sit well with me. In his attempt to persuade me, he said, “I will go down on you when you come.” This only made me strengthen my stand.

Why Men Don’t Say “I Love You” To Each Other

He got angry and started insulting me. That was it. I got the opportunity to break up with him. In return, he blocked me. I was a little hurt that my expectations were not met when I met him, but I was also relieved that he left my life.

After him, I made a resolve never to date anyone online until I meet them in person first. I don’t want another case of “what I ordered” versus “what I got”.

—Amaka 

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

#SB