I am a thirty-one-year-old woman who has had three failed relationships. Honestly, I don’t know what it is I do wrong. Everything would go perfectly well until the relationship just fizzles out. My last relationship, for instance, was free of drama. There were no unnecessary arguments or fights. Every misunderstanding that rose, we resolved it. However, the relationship just died a natural death. After it died, I told myself that I am too tired to try another relationship. At my age, I don’t know how long I can keep trying to get it right. I was determined to stay single for as long as possible. But I made an exception for older men. All my three failed relationships were with men my age, so I thought I could give an older man a chance and see how that would turn out.

Many men have come my way, and I know it’s because they are drawn to my beauty. So I try to take my time and get to know what it is they want from me. After a few conversations with some of them, I realized they were not interested in me as a person. They were rather interested in how they could get between my legs. They tried to cover their intentions with affection but I have seen enough in this game to know when someone is pretending. Every time I saw this, it broke my heart. I kept asking myself questions like, “Are there no genuine men out there anymore?” And then one day I got a message on Facebook. It was from a man I had never met. There was something honest about the tone of his message. So I responded, and we started talking.

His name is Eugene. He lives in the UK. Upon further interactions, I learned that he is a fifty-two-year-old man who is divorced with a son. He runs his own business and also works as a lawyer. He expressed interest in me but I didn’t agree to date him. And it’s not because I don’t like him. It’s mostly because we have never met. I was hoping I would get to see him and interact with him in person before I consider him for a relationship. I explained this to him and he understood. So now we are just friends.

We have been talking very frequently since the year began, and he has sent me money twice. The other day he said he would make arrangements for me to go and meet his mother one of these days. While I liked the thought of that, it also made me nervous. From what he told me about her, I have deduced that she is a rich woman. She lives in one of the most expensive estates in Accra. She also has properties that she rents out to people. My concern is that when she sees me, she might feel I don’t belong in their world. I expressed this concern to Eugene and he said, “No, my mother won’t think like that. She will rather be happy to meet you. She wants more grandchildren from me, so the mere fact that you are in my life will be enough for her to like you.”

READ MORE: She Dumped Me After Opening Up A Business For Her

At the mention of grandchildren, I asked him, “Wait, you want me to meet your mother as the potential mother of your children?” He said, “Yes, I like you very much and I would like to have kids with you. So even if you won’t date me, would you consider having my kids?” In all his talks, he never mentioned marriage. So I asked him why he hasn’t proposed marriage to me. He said, “My ex-wife married me because of my property. Thankfully, she is out of my life now. But I have learned my lessons. I want to share my life with someone but I don’t want to get married. If that doesn’t work for you, I will understand. However, if you consider having a kid for me, I will make it worth your while. I won’t even touch you if you don’t want us to do it the biological way. We can go to the hospital and get it done through IVF. I will accept all your terms, except marriage. We can even draft a contract if it helps ease your mind.”

What Do You Look For In A Partner You Want To Settle With?–Beads Media

In as much as I appreciate his honesty, having a baby out of wedlock is not something I am comfortable with. I told him that it will be easier for me to agree to his terms if he marries me, but he refused to compromise on that. A part of me is also considering the offer because of my age. I feel like my biological clock is ticking. And I have read a lot of articles about the complications women face when they wait too long to have children. So the more I think about it, the more I feel Eugene’s proposal is not bad. He will be coming to Ghana in December so I have told him to give me till then to come to a decision. Please what would you advise me to do?

— Fidelia

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Please email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

#SB