
My boyfriend and I are in two different places in life right now. I am still trying to make something out of myself while he has found a direction for his life. He has a stable job as a teacher. He has his own place too. Right from the beginning of the relationship, he told me he was ready for marriage. Me, I am not. I am still in tertiary school. Besides, I am only 22. What do I know in life that I should get married?
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However, I gave him a chance anyway. He told me he would wait till I was done with school, which was fine with me. So far, we’ve been together for six months. I am not the kind of girl who hides things from my parents. They’ve always encouraged me to be open with them, and I try my best to do that. So they know about my boyfriend.
When he was ready, I invited him to my home to meet them. My parents approve of him. They say he is a good man. My siblings also like him. They vibed with him as if he was someone they already knew. Their warm reception of him made me so happy.
I have met his siblings too. They are cool. His parents were no exception when I met them. They said I belonged with them. Truly, our relationship looks like the inception of a peaceful marriage. Well, at least it did until recent happenings.
Oh, we didn’t fight or anything. We are fine, actually. What happened was, he lost his dad recently. I attended the burial ceremony to offer my support and show my last respects for the man. In my boyfriend’s moment of grief, we ended up getting intimate. We were both so caught up in the moment that I didn’t stop to think if it was something I was ready for.
After the funeral, he brought me home and asked for my hand in marriage. My parents agreed. I also did. Maybe it was influenced by his grief and the fact that I have grown to love him.
Now he has started preparing for the marriage. The thought of marrying him makes me happy but I am also anxious. I feel I am not ready to make such a big jump. But that’s not even the worst right now.
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I found out three weeks ago that I am pregnant. I am so scared out of my mind but not my man. He besides himself with joy. “I can’t wait to be a father,” he keeps telling me. His reaction makes me confused.
It seems I should be happy. After all, we’ve met each other’s families. He is making preparations marry me. I know all this but I still feel ready to make such a big commitment. What’s going to happen to my education?
I Was Fine Until I Was Alone In My Room
Honestly, my initial thought was to let go of the pregnancy. However, he is too happy about it for me to bring it up. So it appears I may have to keep it. My problem is how my parents will take the news. They would have been happy if this had happened after marriage. Won’t they be disappointed that we didn’t wait? I don’t even know why I am going to tell them.
I want to ask the women here who got pregnant or married while still in school, how did you do it? What are some of the things I need to know for the journey ahead? Is it as scary as it appears? I need all the help and guidance I can get. Also, how do I break the news to my parents to lessen the impact of their disappointment? I have so many questions, I know.
—Ivy
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It depends on serious you take your health. Apart from that you can still pursue your dreams while pregnant. Sit him down and lay down your plans to him . Life isn’t predictable but you will learn along the way. As for your parent you have to truthful with them. Last but not least don’t be with someone out of pity because it will ruin you.
Hey Ivy, I’ve been in your shoes before and I know how you feel. My only piece of advice is to tell your parents early and let them help you navigate through this. Trust me they might be disappointed but they’ll learn to live with it.
I didn’t tell my parents early because I was scared and it went against me. Please don’t make the same mistake and may you have enough strength to go through this.
The deed has already been done so please tell your parents.
Keep the baby because you will never know if it might be your only child.
Just that schooling and pregnancy is kinda tough but you will sure sail through.
With the school, you can defer your course for a year 2 years at most for degree certs so that should sort it till you put to birth
The family part comes with each family
You know your family Best only you know how to approach them
Do it at a time that they’re in a very good mood.
Anger comes but once and at that very moment
Haste with it so you can get the marriage done so they you don’t get a lump for all eyes to see