Five years into our relationship, Ben got the opportunity to travel to the north for work. We had plans to get married. All we were waiting for was a financial breakthrough so we could move forward with our plans. So despite the fact that he was moving far away from me, I was happy for him. We made a lot of promises to each other before he set off.

I know living away from home can be lonely so I made it a point to call him more frequently than I used to. At the end of each day, he would tell me about his day. He would talk about the people he met and the people said things that made him laugh.

One day I realized that he was always mentioning a particular lady’s name. Her name kept coming up to the point where I couldn’t ignore it. When I raised my concerns, he assured me that I had nothing to worry about. “She is just a friend,” he said. I believed him at first but as time went on, I couldn’t buy that they were just friends. The writings on the wall were too clear to ignore.

When I couldn’t take it anymore I asked him, “Kojo, be honest with me, what’s the nature of your relationship with this girl? Please don’t keep lying to me.” There was a heavy silence on the phone for a few minutes before he finally admitted that he was dating her. I asked him what that meant for us and our future. He said he didn’t know. “I wish I had a direct answer for you but I am confused. I want to be with the two of you.” His answer did nothing to assure me about my place in his life so I walked away from him.

A few months later, I also traveled for work. When I got there I met this guy who was extremely nice to me. He ticks all my boxes. He is down-to-earth, caring, and kind. I would have been very happy with him had it not been for one or two things.

This new beau of mine happens to be in a relationship that is five years old. He asked me to give him some time to break up with her and I agreed. Now, I’m finding out that their breakup is not going to be as easy as I expected it to be.

He told me he was done with the relationship because his girlfriend wouldn’t stop entertaining her ex. That aside, she terminated some pregnancies without his consent. He let me understand that he was not leaving her for me. He was already going to l leave her before I came on the scene.

However, this lady is making it look like I am trying to snatch her man. I don’t know how she got my number but she has called me several times to threaten me. “If you know what is good for you,” she would say, “You will leave my boyfriend and find your own man.” On those occasions, I tried to explain to her that I was not dating her man but she didn’t believe it.

We’ve been friends all this while even though he has asked me to marry him and I accepted his proposal. I don’t want to start anything with him until he is out of his relationship. It just happens that when he told the girl’s family that he was no longer going to marry their daughter, they demanded compensation.

READ ALSO: She Doesn’t Want To Marry Me Because I Live Abroad

He has done so much for this girl in the course of their relationship but it appears it’s not enough in their eyes. He told me, “For the entire five years I have been with her, her son from her previous relationship has been my responsibility. That aside, I enrolled her in a vocational school. I pay her rent alongside all her bills. I take care of her family as well. So what more do they want from me as compensation for dating their daughter?” I feel his pain, I do, but the drama is too much for me.

I know I am not the reason his relationship is coming to an end but I can’t help feeling I have a part to play in it. Everything happening with the girl’s family is making me rethink my decision to marry him. I even started finding fault with his physical appearance because of the pressure. Bad situations have a way of throwing light on other things you wouldn’t even care about if all was well.

Call Your Ex And Ask Why It Didn’t Work Out Between You Two

This guy is a good man. If he wasn’t, his girlfriend wouldn’t be holding on to him as if losing him would end her. She knows what she gets from him so she will do everything possible to keep him. While I am figuring out what to do in this situation, Ben is also here saying he didn’t break up with me. He claims our love would have continued if I hadn’t walked away from him.

Once in a while, he would tell me about the girls who like him. I don’t know what he is trying to achieve but I know he is still dating the girl he cheated on me with while flirting with others. Honestly, I don’t lose any sleep over him. My concern is the new guy. What do I do about him? Should I wait for him to settle his issues with the girl’s family so we can be together? Or I should walk away from him as well?

—Akpene

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB