It has become his obsession lately. He finds a way to bring it into our conversations every now and then. I find a way to avoid it. Mostly, I go like, “Why do you want to know? How does knowing help our relationship in any way?”
He couldn’t give me any appropriate answer until recently he gave a well-thought-out response. He said, “If our aim is to go to the end of time with this relationship, then we have to be open. We shouldn’t keep secrets, hoping the other partner won’t find out.”
I was like, “To me, things of such nature are not worth knowing. It belongs to our past. There’s a reason all of them didn’t work. I’m with you. Let’s that be enough.”
I know by this time you’re asking yourself, “What does he want to know that you’re not telling him?”
Well, it’s not easy to tell him just as it’s not easy to say it here but this is what he wants to know…
The number of men I’ve slept with since I was born.
Honestly, I wasn’t counting. The first happened when I was fifteen. It was rape. I don’t want to think about it. It hurts my memory. It shouldn’t count but telling him about my body count means I should tell him all that.
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After that, I stayed with my rapist until nineteen. When I broke away from him, things got out of hand a little. I could sleep with anything in trousers if only his mouth could utter the word love; “I love you.” “I love your eyes.” I love your ass.” “I love the way you walk.”
There should be love in there and you win.
I was looking for true love and it meant I had to kiss a lot of frogs hoping one will turn into prince charming. I kissed and licked their whole body clean. They continued to remain frogs because frogs are frogs.
It was until I was twenty-seven that I told myself, “Enough is enough. Not all princes are frogs before a kiss turns them into beautiful princes. Some princes appear in shining armour to rescue those they love. I’m waiting for that kind of prince to rescue me.”
I was careful. I dated honestly and with an open heart and mind. Still, I didn’t win. I ended up adding to my body count until this very one came along.
We’ve dated for close to a year but all of a sudden, he wants to know how many frogs I’ve kissed and how many donkeys I’ve sat on. It’s not easy to count and it’s not easy to talk about your shameful past. That’s why I don’t want to answer that question.
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He has told me his number but I don’t know if he’s being honest with me. He said seventeen women. And then said to me, “I’ve done a lot and I don’t think you can beat this number, so tell me.”
I laughed inside my heart and said, “I still don’t think it’s a good idea. Let it rest.”
He wants to know. The more I keep it from him, the more he suspects foul play. The question is, should I tell him? Is it a good idea if I lie about it? To me, it’s either I tell the truth or I don’t say it at all. But then again, what will make a man so obsessed about his woman’s body count?
—Irish
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This man is looking for nightmares. What you don’t know doesn’t hurt. I tried it sometime. It took me weeks to get over it when she finally told me. I was angry and disappointed, but then again I was grateful she opened up and showed remorse. I wish he will understand and never ask. Trust me it’s not pleasant experience.
If you can’t predict his reaction, then don’t tell him.
Madam your past is your past telling him won’t change anything. Keep it to yourself don’t tell him anything. Some man are not mature when it comes to that’s he can use it against you . Some things are meant to be kept as secrets. Pls wise up
It always hurts a man when he gets to know that someone was fucking what is his now. It never helps. Don’t Tell him
Never.
Don’t tell him and be firm about it. He will judge you. Unfortunately, body count counts for men but the reverse is the case for women. If he is not ready to accept the you, you are today, then he is not the one.
Pls don’t tell him. Why koraa does he want to know?
If he insist just give him a number less than his. He telling you his number is a ploy for you to tell yours too. I don’t think u will have a health relationship if u tell him. Somtins are best kept secret.
Someone might have tell him sometin about u dats why his is curious. but u knw the saying that curiousity kills the cat, if he keep asking then bite the bullet and spill the beans, let him learn life lesson the hard way, if he walk away let him go he ask for it
The obsession was borne out of something someone has told him or might have said to him. Remember he didn’t ask those questions at the on-set of the relationship.
You’ve two options:
1.Tell him and allow him deal with his hurt alone or not tell him at all.
2. Tell him but give him a much lesser figure.
The choice is yours. But if he’s really a matutre guy, he’ll feel the hurt but still take you and be with you and appreciate you for telling him the truth.