Alex is the best guy I have ever dated. He is not abusive in any way. I don’t suspect that he has another woman in his life apart from me. And he takes good care of me. We both work in the public sector so we are doing okay financially. He has his master’s degree while I am now doing mine. To be honest, our relationship is free of drama. Things are usually very peaceful between us until I bring up the issue of marriage. That is the only topic that causes friction between us. I am already thirty years old. So I believe I am not getting any younger. This means that I can’t be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. I need to know if my man has any plans for our future together.

Unfortunately, this is something Alex does not like to hear about. He prefers for us to enjoy the relationship till he feels ready to take things further. One time I even asked him, “How do I know that after I wait for you to be ready, you will marry me? You know that I am a woman. Unlike you, I have a ticking biological clock. So my time with you has to account for something or else I will now have to start over from scratch with someone else, and I don’t fancy that idea. I love you and I will be happy when we get married. So I’m asking you to make me a promise, that after all the waiting, you will marry me.”

Alex scrunched up his nose and said, “I love you too, you know I do. I believe that should be enough for you. As for promising to marry you, I can’t do that. Things are good between us but nobody knows the future. What if something happens to any of us that changes our perspective on life and relationships? What if either of us wakes up with different feelings about the other person? Do we then remain stuck together because I promised to marry you? Things are good between us now so let’s just enjoy it.” I told him that his way of thinking isn’t how you think when you truly love someone. And he said, “Why don’t you finish your master’s first, while I also finish a project I have started? Then we can circle back to the topic of marriage.”

The project he is talking about is a building project. And at the pace he is going it will take him about three years to complete it. So he expects me to just be in the relationship for three more years without any expectations of marriage. A few weeks ago he came to visit me. While we were together he started touching me and giving all the signals that he wanted to have shuperu. So I told him, “My dear, I can’t do that now. I feel cramps in my abdomen but my period is three days late.” He asked if I took the pregnancy test and I said no. So he quickly drove to town and bought about three test kits. Then he took my urine sample and did the test himself. He tried to keep his cool when the first one came out positive. When the second one also showed two red strips, I felt his agitation. By the time the third kit also read positive, Alex lost all sense of civility.

READ MORE: My Fiancée’s Father Is Asking For GH₵10,000 Compensation Before I Marry His Daughter

“How did this happen?” He asked me. “I don’t remember when I came inside you. And even if I did, you should have taken precautions to make sure that it doesn’t become a problem. Now, look at what has happened because of your carelessness.” I tried to tell him that we were both responsible for what happened but he wouldn’t listen. He was convinced that I allowed it to happen so he directed his anger at me. That night we both didn’t sleep, but we didn’t speak to each other. We turned our backs to each other. I faced the wall, and he faced the other way. I was scared and confused about what the pregnancy will mean to me and to our relationship, while Alex steamed in anger.

Is It A Taboo For A Husband To Help With House Chores? — BEADS MEDIA

The next morning he asked me, “Now that the harm has already been done, what should we do about it?” I explained my stance to him, “I am not ready for this, and my family will be disappointed in me. But I am afraid of what might happen if I get rid of it. So I am going to keep it.” He shook his head, “No you won’t. You know I am working on my building project among other things. So I am not ready at all to be a father or a husband. Let’s just get rid of it. That is the only way forward.” I cried my heart out, But I agreed to do what he wanted. I have seen enough horror stories to teach me not to have a baby with a man who says he is not ready. He followed me to the hospital the next morning to get the procedure done. The pain I went through during the process and after was so unbearable.

From then, I vowed not to have shuperu with him again until probably when he is ready for marriage and I am still with him. And that’s my problem right now. I don’t know if I should wait for him till he is ready or if I should just move on with my life and find someone who is ready. What if I wait for him and he doesn’t marry me? I would have wasted a lot of time with him.

–Agnes

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

#SB