Last year, I broke up with my Bernie. We were together for four years. He was my future until he travelled. That was when everything changed. He became unnecessarily authoritative and dismissive whenever we spoke. He started treating me as if I was an elusive lover. He wanted to know where I was and what I was doing at every time of day.

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“Why didn’t you pick up my calls?”

“Who are you with?”

“If indeed you are in bed, then let’s have a video call. I want to see for myself that you are not lying to me?”

It became too much. I started living in fear even though he wasn’t living close. The final straw came when he started going after my friend. That’s when I decided I’d had enough and ended the relationship.
Just around that time, I fell ill. There was this friend who was by my side, Moses.

Even when I got physically well, he stood by me throughout the heartbreak.

He had proposed to me in the past, but I told him I was already in a relationship. So when I became single, he proposed again. This time around, I decided to give it a try.
He loved me so fiercely that I didn’t struggle to fall deeply in love with him. I liked that he made me feel alive again. I felt like myself. For the first time in a long time, I was free in a relationship. I found comfort that I had never experienced before.

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We were fine until we sat down to talk about marriage a few days ago. I felt I was ready, but he wasn’t. He told me I had two choices: “You have to wait for me to be ready in three years, or you can walk away.”

Just like that? He is fully aware that I have a medical condition. My doctors have advised me to conceive as soon as possible to stay on the safe side. That’s one of the reasons I want to settle down by next year.

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When I reminded him about it he said he needs time to organise his life. I don’t know what that means. It’s not as if he is not doing well in life. According to him, he already has a child from a previous relationship and he is not in a hurry to have another one yet.

What am I supposed to do with this information? I feel so broken. He made me believe in love again. Now what do I do with all this love?

—Dashne

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