There was this woman who used to work for my mother, doing menial jobs here and there. She also went from house to house, washing clothes and doing other odd jobs for the neighbourhood. Nobody knew where she came from. She always had a baby strapped to her back, and that seemed to be the reason everyone gave her work to do.

My mom called her a friend. I called her “Ma.” One day, she stopped coming around. Weeks went by—one, two, three—and my mom decided to look for her. She found her at the place she was squatting, sick and lying next to her baby.

My mom took her to the hospital and brought the baby home to care for her. Sadly, the woman never returned from the hospital—she died. We tried to locate her family. We reported it to the police. we made several announcements. Weeks later, a man and a woman showed up, claiming to be distant relatives.

They didn’t claim her body, leaving the community to bury her. When they were preparing to leave, my mom asked, “What happens to her daughter? Will you take her with you?”

The next morning, before anyone was awake, they left town, leaving the little girl behind.

When my job placement came, and I had to leave home, I took the child with me. She was only four years old at the time.

This child has brought so many blessings into my life. I don’t usually tell people the truth about her. Instead, I say she’s my daughter—a child I had while I was in school. Because of her, I’ve received so many favours. Sometimes, when an opportunity opens for me, I wonder, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” My mom always tells me, “You did something for someone you had no obligation to help. Do you think God won’t take care of you?”

But when it comes to my love life, things have been different. Whenever a relationship starts to get serious, I tell the man about my daughter. At first, I wouldn’t share the full story. I’d say she was mine, a child I had while in school.

Some men would leave and never return. Others stayed but their attitudes changed, and they eventually faded away. It became something I prayed about constantly. My mom kept encouraging me, saying, “There’s light coming.”

When Richard came into my life, I decided to tell him the whole truth from the start. He was different—emotionally mature and empathetic. He didn’t have an issue with her. Over time, he grew close to her, and she started calling him “Uncle.” The three of us were inseparable.

When he introduced me to his family, he told them I had a child. That’s when the problems began. His father advised him against marrying me, and his mother said he might face issues with the child’s biological family. I encouraged him to tell them the truth, but he hesitated.

Eventually, his mother called me directly to ask about my background, my upbringing, and how I came to have a child while in school. That day, I told her everything—how the child became mine and why I had chosen to raise her.

After hearing my story, his mother said, “My son can’t start his life with someone else’s child. If you’re serious about marriage, you’ll need to send the child to her family.”

Richard told me to ignore his family, but over time, he began to withdraw. It was obvious. I begged him to come around. Even when I cooked for him, I had to beg him to come eat. One day, he finally said, “My family doesn’t want this marriage, and I don’t want to go against their wishes.”

I asked if it was about the child. He said yes, but hinted there was more to it. When I asked what else, he couldn’t give me a clear answer. I decided not to force him. I told him to leave me alone.

My mom suggested I send the child to her if it would save the relationship. I told her I wasn’t going to do that. Any man who couldn’t accept me and my daughter wasn’t worth it.

For nearly a month, I didn’t hear from him. Eventually, I texted him to let him know I held no grudges. One day, he told me, “My parents have agreed for us to marry, but only on the condition that the child won’t live with us at the start. Maybe later, she can join us.”

I laughed and replied, “No. The child comes with me from the beginning. I understand if you and your family can’t agree, but I’m not cutting her out of my life.”

Now, he’s suggesting we trick his parents—do what they want for now and later live our lives on our own terms. But I’m not ready to go down that road. I don’t want to start a lifelong commitment based on a lie. They either accept both of us from the beginning, or they leave us alone.

My Mom Doesn’t Care How I Make The Money I Send To Her

I’ve made my decision, but I sometimes wonder—am I doing too much by choosing my daughter over my future? She’s not just a girl; she’s my daughter. Is it worth it to prioritize her over a man who wants to marry me? Should I go along with the lie today and see what happens in the future?

— Pearl

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