I didn’t know exactly how to react when he told me, “I am letting Akos move in with me.” My mind went blank at first, and then I said, “Huh?” He probably thought I didn’t hear him clearly. So he repeated, “Akos doesn’t have a place to live so I have asked her to move in with me.”

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When I asked why he would ask a female friend to live with him knowing very well he has a girlfriend, he said it was I who did it. “If you had agreed to visit me regularly and spend the night with me, I wouldn’t have room to accommodate her in the first place.”

I love this guy and I enjoy spending time with him. It’s just that we want different things when we’re together. While I just want to have conversations and bond, all he wants is to fulfil his sexual needs.

It’s not as if these needs are small that he would just do one and be satisfied. He has a huge appetite. If I go and visit him and make the mistake of spending the entire day there, he won’t get off me. He would make sure he does it five times before I leave.

He is not small either. Sometimes I end up getting bruises down there. I would have to walk with my legs slightly apart for days. Now, why would I put myself through that kind of discomfort on a regular basis?

Because I refuse to visit as frequently as he wants, he doesn’t text me regularly. Even when I text him, he takes forever to respond. As for phone calls, they happen on rare occasions.

On days I visit too, he won’t let me leave early. Sometimes he would try to make me spend the night. If I agreed, he would try to extend my visit. Meanwhile, I live with my parents. How can I leave home to stay with a guy just so he could use me as a sex doll? I’m not even a fan of sex.

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Every time we sit to talk about our differences, it leads nowhere. He only becomes loving and caring when I give him the cookie. When I don’t give it to him, he is cold, inconsistent, and distant. I am also not in a position to let him have it when he wants it, which is always.

I even spoke to his sister about his behaviour, and she said, “If I were you I would leave him and never look back.”

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Now that he is telling me that Akos is moving in with him, I have decided it’s time I take his sister’s advice. In the past, I would have tried to talk him out of it and offered to make myself available to him. But I don’t think I have the energy to keep holding on to him. I am so tired.

I’m just here looking for some comfort because it hurts to lose him all the same.

—Joyce 

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