He tried to kiss me when he hadn’t proposed to me. I pulled away and asked why he wanted to kiss me. We’d been seeing each other for months. I liked him at first before I came to love him. I was waiting for him to propose but the proposal never came. He would invite me to his house, watch movies and chill all day but he would say nothing.

We went on a date one night. Everything showed he was going to propose. He pulled the chair for me. He stood until I sat before he did. When the date was over, he opened the doors for me while we walked out. He didn’t propose. That was like our fourth date in two months or so. When I got home I asked him, “What’s the point? All this you’re doing.” He answered, “There’s no point. I enjoy your company.” I asked, “So we are friends, right?” He answered, “Sort of.”

I left it like that without being bothered about his chivalry and all the kind things he did for me until that night when he tried to kiss me. He said, “Your lips were calling me so I responded.” I laughed. “My lips have their own voice to call you? Eric, do you like me and you can’t say it? Go ahead. Propose to me and I’ll say yes. I’m not that difficult.”

He laughed my suggestions off and made excuses that didn’t mean anything. I told him, “If you can’t propose then I can’t give you what a girlfriend will give to a boyfriend.” His question was, “Does it even matter? What’s a proposal? What value does it add to a relationship? I might not propose with words but my actions should tell you.”

I’m a woman. I don’t make assumptions when it comes to matters of the heart. Say it. Act it. Show me before I believe. That aside, I love being told about love. I love to hear “I love you” from the one I love. I don’t have to assume, at least not at the initial stages. I pushed him to say it. He told me it wasn’t important. I told him I wouldn’t assume until he made things clear.

He’s still here in my life, playing around my heart and making me feel I’m not in his.

I want to know if I’m being unreasonable. I should just understand that he loves me and flow with him? What’s so hard about proposing even when I’ve given him the green light? Looking at his attitude, do you think he’s in for love? Or I’m right to be careful.

–Annette

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