I got married when I was only twenty-three. That was not the age I expected to be married. The events that led to the marriage were not the kind of events I dreamed would lead to marriage for me. None of it happened on my terms. Not even the man I married. I had just completed nursing school when one of my closest friends introduced me to her boyfriend’s friend. “He is a nice guy who happens to be single like you. Talk to him and see if he is someone you will like.” I was also single so I figured, what’s the harm in trying?

This guy and I started talking. The conversations were good. He made me laugh a lot. After a while, we decided to meet. Not only was it our first date, but it was a blind date as well. We had such a good time, that at the end of the date, I was tipsy. I woke up the next morning in his bed with no recollection of how I ended up there. My body didn’t feel right. I was tampered with by my date, I felt sore down there. A little light inside of me went out when it dawned on me that I unknowingly went on a date with a predator. I stopped talking to him and blocked him everywhere.

Three months later, I found out that I was pregnant. I didn’t have his number anymore so I asked my friend to tell him. We met and talked about what to do. “First of all, I am sorry for putting you into this position,” he apologized, “That’s not who I am. I don’t know what possessed me to behave in that manner.” He asked that I give him a chance to right his wrong. “I like you. I want us to keep the baby and get married. I promise I will spend the rest of our lives making up for the way this relationship started.” Had it not been for the pregnancy, I sure would have said no.

That was not how it was supposed to happen. I wanted to meet a good man, fall in love and know each other well enough to get married. But I ended up marrying a man I barely knew. Let’s not forget that he took advantage of me on our first date.

I had two children with him; a girl, then, a boy. Despite the kind of man their father is, I love my children very much. I thank God for them every day. They are my family. My parents are late and my only sister lives far away from me. So, I am blessed to have them. Their father on the other, was a demon I had to endure in the marriage.

I endured so much at his hands. When I was pregnant with our second child, I suffered neglect, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and even physical abuse. He would beat me as if I were his child. I received my wake-up call in 2021. He beat me because of something so insignificant that I don’t remember it anymore. After he beat me, I talked back at him. He got angrier and brought his sisters to the house to come and beat me. And they did. That was my breaking point. “If I don’t leave this marriage, I will die and my children will be motherless,” I mused as I mentally packed my bags.

I sought a transfer and moved to a different region with my children. I didn’t even start the divorce process immediately. I hoped the distance would give him some clarity and compel him to change his ways. Nonetheless, he remained the same. Even rocks weather, but not my ex-husband. So I pushed to finalize the end of the marriage. Now, I am free from him.

I’ve been actively working as a full-time mum, full-time student because I’m pursuing my degree and a full-time nurse. It hasn’t been easy doing all this. So I made a decision to remain single till Jesus calls me home. I just wanted the time and space to take care of my children without any relationship drama getting in the way. It was the right decision for me at the time I made it.

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However, things have changed for me. I have had more time to think about my life. I am thirty-one. I am still very young with my whole life ahead of me. I foresee the road to old age as boring, lonely, and full of regrets. I don’t want such a life. I want love and companionship. I know I have been through so much already but I want to love and feel loved again. I want to raise my children in a home with two parents who love and respect each other.

I Discovered He Had Another Woman But I Couldn’t Leave Him

That’s why I’m here Silent Beads. It isn’t that I don’t meet men. I am an introvert who enjoys being indoors so the men I meet are mostly men from my workplace and the ones I co-tenant in the same house with. I am not comfortable starting a relationship with someone who is already close in my space in that way. That’s why I am hoping to meet someone through this space.

When it comes to the kind of man I want, I am not settling. All I ask for is a mature God-fearing man who is gainfully employed. Apart from my nursing career, I am industrious. It could be someone who already has kids, but it won’t be a problem if the person doesn’t have kids too. Wherever the person lives is fine with me as well; any part of Ghana or even abroad. I don’t want any unnecessary drama or games. Please, if you are in your mid-thirties to late thirties and you are ready for a serious relationship leading to marriage, reach out to me and let’s get to know each other in hopes of building something beautiful.

—Missy

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