I was young and green when he proposed to me. He was twenty-three and I was nineteen. I didn’t know anything about love and its ways.  I remember my schoolmates doing all they could to have me say yes to them but I always said no because I didn’t understand so much. The only reason I fell for Noah was that he was at the university. I felt he had a brighter future than all those local guys who came proposing to me.

He was in Accra and I was in Sunyani so everything about our relationship was more virtual than it was physical. I spoke to him on the phone when I wanted to hear his voice. When I wanted to see his face, I called him on a video call. When I wanted to read his words, I sent him a message. I found safety in the distance than having him around me all the time.

He came home on a vacation one day and he asked for a kiss. I was shy at first. I didn’t; want to do it but he said, “If you love me you’ll do it.” I said, “I haven’t done it before so don’t laugh at me if I get it wrong.” He said, “You don’t have to know how to do anything. Just do as I do.” I close my eyes and by the time I opened, we had finished.

He went back to school the following week. Whenever he called, we talked about the first kiss. Whenever I texted, we talked about it. On a video call, we talked about it all night. It was the first milestone of our relationship, maybe that is why we couldn’t stop talking about it. When he came home again for the next vacation, he wanted more than I could give. I said, “I’m reserving it for my future husband.” He said, “If you have a future husband somewhere, then what am I?”

I said, “If you’re the future husband then wait until the future comes. I’m reserving all my last for you.” He didn’t understand me. He wanted us to have today what we could have in the future. I didn’t allow him. I was stronger in my resolve.

He completed university just when it was my time to go to the university. It was an overlapping kind of life. Four days before I left home to the university, I visited him in the house. He sat next to me while he told me the stories of life in the university. He was preparing my mind for the task ahead of me. I was happy for two reasons; the fact that I was in his room and for the fact that I was about to go to school. Maybe I was overtaken by the joy of the moment so when he tried, I didn’t resist it. He took it all away from me, something I was reserving for the future.

I was in school for four years and throughout the years I was in school, this guy showed me nothing but amazing love. When he had his first job, he called for us to jubilate. The following weekend, he came to campus for us to continue with the enjoyment. Whenever he could, he came around bearing gifts and great tidings. When I completed school, there was only one thing on my mind; that is to find a job as soon as possible so I could be ready whenever he asks me to marry.

Just one month after completing school, he told me, “Finally, my mom had agreed to come for me.” I asked, “She’s taking you to the US?” He said, “Yes, I’m starting the process tomorrow.” I was happy for him for a minute then I remembered he was going to leave me behind again. I asked myself, “When are we going to stay together in one place and live our lives? When?” I told him, “So what’s the plan now? Do you know when you’ll be coming back?” He said, “I’m not even there yet but you’re asking me when I’m going to return. I’m here. Let the time come first.”

This guy got so busy he didn’t have the time to talk to me. Anytime I called he’ll be giving me excuses upon excuses; “You know I have to finish these processes before the month ends. Please stop complaining.” The news about traveling to the US changed him and he was never the guy I used to know. I was only hoping that at some point, he’ll take a break and see me like he used to. That never happened until the eve of the night he was traveling.

He was with me from evening till daybreak. We did a lot of things and tried new skills we’ve never done. It was his parting gift—the forget-me-not kind of gift.

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He got to the Us on a Sunday and on Monday he sent me a message; “I don’t want to waste your time. I believe this is the best time for us to break up so you can have time to look for someone else. I don’t want to lie to you, I might not come back to Ghana again so what’s the point of a relationship? Find someone and be happy.”

That’s how six years of my life went down the drain. I did nothing wrong but I still lost. We’ve survived a distance relationship for six good years. We could have at least tried and see what may come out of it. When I was loving him truly, he was moving around thinking of how to eat the last supper and disappear. I’ve tried reaching him on social media. I’ve tried getting his contact from his friends and some other siblings who knew about us. They keep giving me stories.

This has left an indelible mark on my heart. I trust no one now and I don’t feel love is even worth the struggle. At least, he should have told me that night that whatever was happening was for the last so I could have some closure. He left me hanging while he moves around without a burden, enjoying his newfound life.

It hurts badly but I hope sharing this story would help me heal and move on with whatever I have left.

–Naana

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