He caught my attention when he started liking and commenting on my photos and videos on TikTok. At first, I didn’t notice what he was doing. It took a while before I saw the pattern. I noticed that he left his comments on almost every post I made. He did it with the kind of familiarity that someone who knows me personally would.

Out of curiosity, I checked out his profile. I wanted to see if we knew each other in some way. We didn’t. There was nothing familiar about him. I still wanted to know who he was so I went into his DMs to have a chat with him.

I didn’t say anything deep or profound. Only a simple hello. After we exchanged pleasantries he asked for my number. This gave me the impression that he is not the kind of man to beat about the bush. Anyway, I found everything I had learned about him to that point quite interesting. I wanted to know him more. That’s why I didn’t drag my feet before giving him the number.

He proposed love to me a short while after we started talking. Yes, it was too soon but I did say he liked to move fast. I liked him then but I didn’t know him enough to love him. The last thing I wanted was to jump into a relationship with a man I met on the internet.

I told him, “I know I like you but I’m not sure I am ready to be in a relationship yet. Let me think about it for a while and then give you a response.” He nodded calmly and said he would wait.

He was patient. He didn’t put pressure on me or try to rush an answer out of me. Rather, we used the time to get to know more about each other. Three months down the line I was sure I had seen everything he had to offer, and it was everything I needed in a man. I said yes to him.

I don’t have a tall list of things I want in an ideal man. All I want is a man who is God-fearing, educated, responsible, financially stable, and family-oriented. Marc ticked every one of these boxes. Even the last on the list, “No baby mama drama,” has been checked by him.

Everything was going well until it dawned on me a year into the relationship that I still hadn’t met anyone in his life. Not his friends, and definitely not his family. Whenever the subject came up he would tell me, “Relax, I will introduce you to my people soon.” He sang it like an anthem.

After a year, he was still telling me to relax. If not that then he would give me an excuse or find a way to trivialize the meaning of meeting his people.

He behaved as if it was nothing but this issue weighed on my heart heavily. I spent sleepless nights asking myself, “What am I doing so wrong that he doesn’t want his people to meet me? Is he ashamed of me? Or maybe he just doesn’t see me as the one?” These were questions only he could answer. The problem was, he didn’t want to talk about anything concerning the matter.

It’s not as if I don’t bring anything to the table. I’m an entrepreneur with a thriving business. Because I’m doing well for myself, I don’t ask him for financial assistance. All the things he gave me in the relationship, I didn’t ask for them. He chose to gift them to me.

I have also done my fair share of giving. I planned surprise presents for him, cooked his meals, and cleaned for him, among other girlfriend duties.

Of course, we were not perfect. We had our ups and downs but we survived through the storms. The only problem we couldn’t get past was this whole meeting his people kind of issue. The only way I was willing to let it go was if I met someone from his side. He was also not ready to let that happen. So we fought about this one subject over and over again.

Two years down the line, nothing changed. While he kept me from his family I introduced him to mine. He developed a good relationship with them, my mother especially.

When I discussed his behaviour with my mum she told me, “Maybe he is married. If that’s not the case then he already has someone his family knows about. The only reason a man hides a woman he claims he is serious about is if she is his dirty little secret.” I asked him if there was someone else. He said no.

Throughout the course of the relationship, I spent enough time with him to know if there was another woman in the picture. There were times when I spent a number of days with him. Nothing in his apartment spelt the presence of another woman. After searching his apartment, I went through his phone when I got the chance. It was as dry as a cactus. There was no sign of a main chic or a side chic.

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He knew I was worried so he constantly assured me that there was no one else. Unfortunately, mere words no longer cut it for me. After two years together, I wanted him to show me we were going somewhere. This is a man who showed me right from the beginning that he is direct about what he wants and he goes for it. Why then would he drag his feet when it came to our future?

His words repeatedly said we had a future together but his actions actions didn’t. What easier way is there to quiet my doubts than for him to take me home to his family? It was clear he wouldn’t do it, so I broke up with him.

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The breakup was six months ago but now he is back. He is begging me for another chance. I asked if he was ready to introduce me to his family and he said, “It will happen soon.” I have been down this road before. If I take him back nothing will change. So I keep turning him away.

My question is, what could be his problem? Why does he want me in his life but doesn’t want anyone in his life to know me?

— Dee

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