He is the love of my life. We haven’t been together since last year but I still think of him fondly. The plan was for us to get married in August this year but he is not a patient man. This is why the relationship ended.

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We are college sweethearts. Although we didn’t start dating right from year one, the one-and-a-half years we spent together feel that way. We held on to each other like lost kids the moment we fell in love.

Everywhere he went on campus, I followed. “Two peas in a pod,” that’s what some of our colleagues nicknamed us. When we spoke about the future, it was never my plans and his plans. It was always our plans.

“After school, this is how we will live our lives,” we often said before going on to map out the rest of our lives. One of such plans included where we would do our attachments. Considering, we studied in different fields, we got places in separate parts of Kenya.

I was unhappy when I first found out. “It’s an eight-hour drive difference,” I ranted, “that’s such a huge distance.”

He assured me it would be okay. “We are not the only couple to be separated by distance. If others made it work we can also survive it.”

I felt calm as we put in measures to keep the love alive. Whatever we practised worked for us. We spoke consistently and texted each other regular updates. It was hard, I won’t lie.

I would tell him, “I miss you,” and he would respond, “If not for the distance you would have been here right now.”

While we did our best to hold on, my boyfriend started talking about marriage. We had already discussed plans but he was changing things. “I want us to do it immediately we finish our attachment.”

“Why the rush? We haven’t even graduated yet.”

He didn’t have anything to tell me other than he was ready. He had a job while we were in school and continued working alongside the attachment. I didn’t have that kind of financial independence. So I told him I wasn’t ready but he wouldn’t hear it. He kept pushing and I also kept shooting him down.

When he realized that I wouldn’t agree to what he wanted he started reducing the attention he gave me. Communication became a problem. I complained several times but nothing changed.

One day I woke up to videos of him with another lady singing together. I was surprised and hurt. They looked so cosy.

Upon questioning him he said that they were just friends. Well, what could I have said or done? I wasn’t there with him to see for myself.

With time, we finished the attachment. I told him I would like to visit him. I expected him to be happy considering we hadn’t seen each other for months. This guy told me he was busy with work so I shouldn’t come.

Well, I went home to my family. Two weeks later he asked me to come and see him. What changed? I felt like I was being jerked around and it made me dizzy. I told him, “No, I won’t come. I am tired of the back and forth.”

He got angry and started posting photos of the same girl he claimed was just a friend. I was so devastated but I calmed down when I read the captions. Everything he said was about friendship.

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I used the opportunity to try and mend our relationship but he went silent on me. For months I didn’t hear a word from him. When we met at our graduation, he greeted me as if I meant nothing to him.

That day filled me with mixed feelings. On one hand, I celebrated my degree. But I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I had lost the love of my life. The realization filled my heart with immense sadness.

I Was The Man In The Relationship And He Didn’t Like It

I have been doing what I can to move on until he reached out to me at the beginning of the year. He says he still loves me. I am the only woman he wants to end up with. “All the girls I have been posting are just friends,” he swore.

I tried to push him away but he won’t go. He is very persistent. The thing is, my heart still wants him. I just don’t like the way he handled things when I said I wasn’t ready for marriage. What do I do? Will I be making a mistake if I go back to him?

— Ninny

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