Andrew and I matched on a dating app in September last year. He was presentable and expressive enough for my liking so I started engaging him. He told me he is from Nigeria. Enugu city to be precise. I am from the Philippines but the distance did not bother me. I felt chemistry like ours was worth the shot.

He was interesting to talk to. In the beginning, we would stay on the phone texting for long hours. Then we graduated to sending each other photos and making video calls. I saw him and interacted with him and he looks exactly as he does in his photos. So I know I am not being catfished.

While I am gainfully employed he is a student with no income at all. Again, this was not a problem for me. All that mattered to me was that I liked him and he liked me too. Soon enough, we began a long-distance relationship. The consistent communication made it easy for things to smoothly progress between us. We did everything couples do in relationships. The only thing that was different was the lack of physical contact.

Regardless of the fact that we hadn’t met, I fell madly in love with him. I was willing to do anything within my means to make him happy. That’s why when he complained about his school fees for the semester I asked him, “How much is the fees?” When he told me the figure, I asked how I could transfer the money to him. We made arrangements and I sent him the money. He was so grateful for my help but I didn’t think it was a big deal. After all, if the tables were reversed he would do the same for me.

Another time he mentioned that his rent was due but he was struggling to pay it. That one too I transferred the money into his account to settle it. “These are the little things we do for the ones we love,” I told him when he called me spilling thank yous and God bless yous into my ears.

Along the line, we planned to meet in person so we could both put some kind of permanence to the versions of ourselves we knew virtually. But I didn’t want to go all the way to Nigeria for our first meeting so I suggested we meet in Dubai instead. I assured him that I was going to pay for all the expenses. And I was glad when he said, “It will be so good to finally see you. Of course, I will make the trip.”

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Everything was progressing smoothly until he started changing. “What’s going on?” I asked him. Whatever was wrong with him, I urged him to open up to me so I could be there for him. Each time he told me, “Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine.” If everything was indeed fine, then why did he stop being the sweet guy I fell in love with? How could he switch so easily from being vulnerable with me to being so closed off?

I keep asking him if I did anything to offend him but he keeps saying no. I know something must have changed to disrupt our connection so drastically like this. I was hurt by his actions but I decided to stop confronting him about it.

I’m Dating Him And His Mother | STORY BOARD


Although I love him, I believe it is important that I love myself more. I know that it is unhealthy for me to keep begging for his attention so I broke up with him. Three days after the breakup, this guy called to tell me he missed me. I asked him, “Are you ready to open up about why you changed?” He went silent for a while and then hung up.

I find his attitude draining so right after he cut the line, I blocked him on all my accounts, including my phone book. I just don’t want to keep talking to him and get attached in a way that will continue to hurt me. Do you think my decision is right? I am asking this because I am beginning to wonder if I should have been more patient with him. Maybe he is truly going through something he can’t talk about and I am making it about me?

—Jenny

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