I met Robert in 2016 when I went to see my boyfriend. Lewis lived outside Accra but every time he came to Accra, he would stay with his friend, Martin. Robert who has lived outside the country for the past twenty years was also hosted by Martin whenever he came to Ghana. On that fateful day, Lewis and Robert were in town at the same time. That was how I met Robert.

I didn’t know about him till then. That was because he wasn’t close to Lewis. They only had a reason to get along when their mutual friend, Martin was present.

Now, on that day, Robert and I watched TV and played games when Lewis stepped out to get some stuff. I didn’t pay much attention to him. My focus was on the Ludo we played. We didn’t even talk much. After the game, I excused myself and went to sleep.

The next day when I was leaving, he gave me one of the gifts he brought. A wristwatch. I said thank you and went my way. I never heard from him or saw him again until we ran into each other in 2021. Even with that, we didn’t talk much. Just ten minutes of chit-chat and exchange of pleasantries and we went our separate ways.

By then, Lewis and I had broken off our six-year relationship somewhere in 2018. He was always cheating, and each time I caught him we broke up but would eventually get back together. Eventually, he got another lady pregnant, and that was the last straw for me.

I should add that before that run-in with Robert, occasionally I would see Martin around and he would tell me, “Robert has been asking of you o. He always wants to know how you are doing.” Each time he said this, I smiled and answered, “Tell him I am doing well. Also, thank him for thinking of me.” I never made any attempt to connect with Robert. We just sent well wishes to each other through Martin.

At some point, Martin also left the country. So I stopped running into him. However, he called me six months ago. After we said our hello’s and hi’s he said, “So Robert has been asking me for your number. Should I give it to him?” I agreed, so he did.

A few minutes later, Robert called. He said he had been asking for my number for years but Martin didn’t give it to him because of Lewis. However, now that Lewis was out of the picture, Martin finally agreed to give him the number. Long story short, he said he wanted to talk to me right from the moment we met, but he had to stay away because of the bro code.

In the spirit of the conversation, he asked if I was seeing someone. I wasn’t. He then proposed, “If you are ready to be with someone, then I want us to get to know each other and start a relationship.” He explained that he was not very close with Lewis but he worried that us being together might be a problem for my ex.

Normally, I would have also agreed that it wasn’t a bad idea but at that moment, I was ready to give love a chance again. Also, if they weren’t that close, why should I let someone who hasn’t been in my life for the past six years stop me from exploring something with Robert?

By the time the conversation ended, we agreed to give each other a try. From that moment we started talking. We spoke on the phone at least two times a day. Everything was new and sweet. We focused on getting to know each other more.

Recently, he came to Ghana. I got to see him on his third day here. I was so happy to finally spend some physical time with him after doing the phone conversations for six months. When he came home with me to see my place, we did more talking. I was just looking at him while he talked. It was all about us bonding. There was no physical act of intimacy. It was just conversations.

The next day we spoke happily. He said he had no reservations about our relationship. “I am so excited we met again. I have a good feeling about us,” he declared. I too expressed my joy that we were in a good place.

READ ALSO: All The Drama Began When I Kissed My Best Friend’s Girlfriend.

Just yesterday, Robert called to tell me he bumped into Lewis. All of a sudden he started sounding distant. He said meeting Lewis made him feel guilty. And that the entire time they were talking he couldn’t even look him in the eyes. He was only thinking about me and the relationship we were nurturing behind Lewis’ back.

I assured this guy that we were doing nothing wrong. “After the way Lewis treated me, I don’t feel bad about us. The guy is out there living his life, doing what he loves best so why should he be a problem between us?” I asked him. His only response was, “I need to take a step back to rethink this entire relationship.” I really don’t understand why all the second thoughts.

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In the past months we’ve been talking, I received three proposals from good men but I turned all of them down because of Robert. I am not the kind of girl who can be with two men at the same time so you can understand. Besides, I am not the one who went looking for him. He sought me out. So why didn’t he figure out what he truly wanted before coming forward? Now that he has stirred up my emotions and I am attached to him, he wants to rethink the relationship.

Although I am not pleased with the way things are going, I also know that I can’t force him to choose me. All I said to him was, “Whatever it is, make a decision as early as possible.” After that, I gave him space to sort himself out. While I wait I am bothered. I want to know if I should wait for him however long it would take him to come up with a decision or if I should just forget about him and move on.

— Yayra

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