I am my church’s youth secretary. It was through this position that I started working closely with the youth president. His name is King. Although we work closely together, we don’t have a personal relationship. All our conversations are about events we have lined up for the youth ministry. Every time I see his text, I already know what it’s going to say. “Abigail, remind me to make this important announcement at our next meeting.” “Abigail, don’t forget to send me the schedule for the week.” “Abigail, Ruth didn’t come to church last Sunday. Have you spoken to her?” That is how we have always communicated. We don’t even go into each other’s personal lives,
This is why I became so confused when I started having dreams about him. I wouldn’t have given them much thought if they were just regular dreams. No, this one was a deviation from the kind of relationship we had. In my dreams, we are a couple. Shortly after the dreams started, I began to see him differently. I would see him in church and picture us together in a romantic relationship. His presence started affecting me.
I don’t want to call it a mere crush, because I know it’s more than that. The more we talk, and the more I see him at church, the more thoughts of him consume me; in sleep, and in my waking moments. I don’t know if he knows that something inside me has changed toward him. Or maybe his intentions for me are so platonic that he doesn’t see it. I’m not even sure if I am giving off any signs that I am interested in him.
He is a good Christian man. I am always in awe of his commitment and his dedication to the things of God and the church. I believe that’s why I was drawn to him in the first place. Physically, I find him attractive. So all his good deeds only made it easier for me to develop these strong feelings for him. The good thing is, he is not married. I haven’t also seen any signs that he has a woman in his life.
The other day I was talking to one of our Elders when he mentioned that King was single. According to the Elder, King has gone back to school to pursue his doctorate program. And he wants to finish the degree before he settles down. Somehow, I am hoping that means he doesn’t have a girlfriend. And it gives me hope that I have a chance with him.
Before 2023 ended, I started praying to God about marriage. I asked God to bring my way the man he wanted me to marry. It was just around that time that I started having dreams about King. So I am wondering if the dreams are a revelation from God that he is the one for me. And even if it is, shouldn’t King also receive the same message? How weird would it be if I went to him and said, “Brother King, I have been seeing you in my dreams. I prayed to God about the man I will marry, and that was when you started appearing in my dreams”? He would think I am crazy.
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I have been having this urge to have a conversation with him about it but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Maybe the timing is not right. Maybe God hasn’t placed me in his heart yet. Or he is the kind of man who is turned off by a woman who makes the first move. There is so much I don’t know about him. If I don’t take my time, I could ruin whatever chances I might have with him if I make a move before he is ready to see me as more than a sister in Christ. But I can’t quiet the little voice that keeps telling me, “What if I waste too much time, and someone else goes for him or he goes for another girl?”
I don’t how to proceed so all I do is pray. I tell God to make him mine if indeed, he is mine. I spoke to the church Elder about my feelings. He is the only one apart from me who knows that I have been dreaming about King and I as a couple. He told me, “King is a good man. I always advise him to get married but he insists he wants to finish his PhD first. You are like a daughter to me, and I know you are a good woman. So I will be happy if the two of you get together. The question is, is he ready for you?” Honestly, that’s the question I am also looking for answers to.
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Just as he is committed to the things of God, I am also passionate about building God’s work. That’s why I believe we will make an excellent couple. We will put our efforts together and do amazing things for the church and humanity in general. How do I let him know how I feel without getting ahead of God’s plan? I am not even sure if it is God’s plan for us to get together now. I need ideas and suggestions. Maybe I won’t go straight to the point but I can subtly show him signs that I am interested. I have never found myself in this situation before so I don’t know how to proceed.
—Abigail
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Please tell the Church elder to speak to him since he knows your feelings for King. The church elder can approach him and ask, “don’t you think sister Abigail can make a good wife for you”? then you will follow the prompts from there
It’d be much easier if you ask God to give King a confirmation of what He’s been showing you (if it really is God) to affirm His will. Otherwise I think speaking to elders and all is quite a desperate approach and it’d be very embarrassing if this doesn’t end well.
All the best!
Start with a text message to his phone while he’s in school asking him about studies and his wellbeing. Tell him later that you missed him. He will definitely be alerted by such messages
My dear Abigail,
Continue praying and seek biblical wisdom around strategic positioning. Whilst doing that, please look at every other area of King’s life that will make you consider yourself being with him in the long term. Also, be his friend. Get to know him well as a friend and continue to pray that God will show you to King, if that’s His will for you! Do not, tell him that you had a dream and so on and forth. Just position yourself and pray and let God do the pairing up! Can’t wait for the update!
I totally agree with Maame on this one . Godly wisdom is very key. Also temperamental difference also counts. It can only start with genuine friendship. Emotions has a way of blinding our eyes to things which are critical. It’s crucial you pray for guidance this period. Al will come together for you, May God help and lead you
I second you my darling sister. Sweetheart ask The Holy Spirit to confirm it to him also if the dream is truly from God. Shalom
Don’t be delusional— two of your type might struggle in marriage
A Twi proverb says, paraphrasing, “the matter on your mind is the same one you dream about.” Nothing strange here. Don’t make any moves whatsoever. He doesn’t look like the kind of guy who will appreciate that. Wait. Yours is yours, like the name of the racehorse.
If he doesn’t look your way, it means it is not God no matter the dreams and whatever. Don’t waste your emotions my dear. Dreams are nothing if the person doesn’t not feel the same way about.
Pray that the Lord will make you set your priorities right. I have been there it is not worth it.