It started with one comment on the internet. I had written something under a post and it caught Kwame’s attention. He came to respond to my comment, and the connection began from there. I liked what he said. It was a kind and thoughtful remark. When I also replied to his response, things picked up pretty fast.

A simple message in my DM began a friendship. We spoke about general aspects of life. Then the conversation got personal when we moved things to regular phone calls and text messages. We started talking consistently. “Tell me about your dreams,” he would ask.

I was open with him. I told him about all the big things I hope to achieve. He spoke about his aspirations too. That part of our conversations was light and interesting. It got us comfortable enough to delve into the deeper parts of our lives. We spoke about our struggles and all the things that made us tick.

For eight months, Kwame was present in my life. He made sure I knew he liked me but he was not overbearing about his intentions. He was patient enough to win me over with his kindness.

Although he didn’t try to rush the process, when he finally proposed love, I couldn’t say yes. He made his feelings clear, but when he proposed, I couldn’t say yes. I had been hurt badly in the past. Yes, I knew Kwame was a good guy but the wounds of my past were still fresh in my heart.

I told him, “I like you but I am not ready for another relationship yet.” He didn’t push but he didn’t also leave. He understood where I was coming from. He knew I struggled with trusting men. So he became a friend I could count on. Someone who truly cared. In all of it, he didn’t make me guilty for taking my time to accept his proposal.

Despite his demanding job at a mining company, he always made time for me. One day, during one of his rare breaks, he showed up at my doorstep unannounced. It may not have qualified as a grand gesture but it meant a lot to me. I understood that visit as his way of saying, “I am here for the long haul. I am not going anywhere.”

I just knew there and then that I had to give him a chance. Everything about him ticked my boxes. It was his gentleness that mostly stood out to me. He carried himself with an easy confidence. Oh, and I liked that he was a Christian. His faith as a Christian wasn’t just something he talked about. It showed in the way he treated me. He was respectful, understanding, and thoughtful in ways I hadn’t experienced before.

After everything I knew about him, I still couldn’t go all out for him instantly. I tried but he could see I was still holding back, still afraid, but he never made me feel bad about it.

One day while we were talking about my fears he said, “Let’s wait until marriage for intimacy. I want you to feel safe and heal first.” That statement meant more than words to me. It showed me he wasn’t here for a fun time. He was here to build something real with me.

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As time went on, Kwame started making plans for our future. He didn’t even talk much about it. He just started buying the items on the marriage list one by one. That was all the proof I needed that this guy meant business. I learned to let go of all my reservations and trust him after that.

To this day, I don’t regret the step I took when I finally said yes to his proposal. We are yet to tie the knot but Kwame has taught me that love doesn’t have to hurt. He has shown me that good men still exist. Because of him, I know what it means to let go of my past and trust someone new.

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I feel so blessed to be his woman. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had pushed him away because I didn’t feel ready. I am glad that although he came into my life when I had almost given up on love, I allowed him to show me just one more time that there was still light in the world.

Sometimes, the right person isn’t the one who sweeps you off your feet in a grand gesture. Sometimes, it’s the one who stays, patiently proving through their actions that they’re worth trusting again. To every young woman reading this, I hope my story encourages you to look beyond your fears. There are still good men out there. It may seem hard but if you look closely enough, you will find men like Kwame who will prove against all odds that love can heal.

— A.J

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