One of my female colleagues introduced me to Cain three months ago. “He has been crushing on you from a distance for a long time because he is shy and doesn’t know how to talk to you. But now he says he no longer wants to be a secret admirer. He wants to get to know you.” She then asked if she could give my number to him. I was curious to know this man so I said yes.

Shortly after that conversation, Cain reached out. We spoke at length. We spoke openly. I liked that about him, his ability to hold intelligent conversations. That’s one thing I look out for when I am talking to someone. Is he a good listener? Does he like to talk about things? I would ask myself these questions. And Cain ticked these boxes. He also had witty comebacks, which was a bonus.

One of the reasons I am big on conversations is because they tell me a lot about the person. Even if I don’t ask personal questions, their views and opinions about general topics would tell me a lot about their character. Now, during my conversations with Cain, I got the impression that he was a player.

He didn’t do or say anything specifically I could pinpoint. It had to do with his energy. My guts just screamed, “Run, he is a player!” The question is, did I listen? No, I didn’t. Rather, I told myself I was overthinking things. “Maybe I have been hurt so many times in the past that I treat everyone as though they are going to hurt me,” I thought.

After doing all these mental gymnastics, I still went ahead and said yes to his love proposal. For some reason, I saw his potential. He had traits that convinced me we could build a happy life together.

I am in a place where I didn’t need much from a man. By this, I mean money and other material things. I am working and earning good money, you know. I have enough in my savings account too. I can afford anything I want for myself. The only thing I wanted from him was love and attention. Maybe it was too far a reach. Looking back, I even feel silly that I once entertained that thought.

Exactly one month into the relationship, this guy started revealing his true intentions but I was too wrapped up in the magic of new love to see what was going on. While I was focused on loving him, he was busy asking me for money.

I am a soft person. I am even softer when I am with someone I love. I just want them to be comfortable and happy. So I usually find it hard to turn them down when they ask me for something. Cain knew this about me. And he used it to his advantage. It didn’t matter the number of times he asked me for money or a favor that cost money. I never told him, “No, I can’t do it.” I always came through for him.

At some point, it dawned on me that I was the only one doing the giving in the relationship. He never for once reciprocated my gestures. All he knew was to use his mouth to tell me, “I love you, babe.” His actions did nothing to prove those words.

READ ALSO: I Haven’t Stopped Thinking About This Married Man Ever Since We Did It

As if that was not enough, I found out that he was still talking to all his exes. I told him it made me uncomfortable but he didn’t care. Unlike him, I cared. When you love someone, they affect you. That was what happened with him. Every little thing he did with his exes messed up my emotions because of how deeply I loved him.

Just recently, we had a misunderstanding about this same issue with his exes. This guy stopped picking up my calls. He blue-ticked my WhatsApp messages as well. Then he broke up with me after a week.

I Accepted His Proposal When I Hadn’t Met Him Physically

My problem is, I am not hurt. Looking at how much I love him, I expected to experience heartache and water works but I didn’t. I feel absolutely nothing. This is not me.

I am the kind of person who goes for days without eating when a relationship goes south. That’s because I give it my all. So I don’t understand why I don’t care that this guy has left me. He even came back to tell me, “You don’t love me. If you did, you wouldn’t have watched me leave. You didn’t even try to fight for me.” Could he be right? Maybe I didn’t actually love him. Or is something wrong with me? Maybe all these disappointments have finally broken me and turned my heart cold.

— Naana

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB